Hey Freak!

OK, so...

How do bats shit? Do they have to let go with one leg, or do they hate to be flying to do it, or what? I mean, because I imagine, if I had to shit while hanging upside down, it'd be pretty messy.

No, I didn't forget that it was marquee monday... I was busy.

I'd tell you what I was doing, but I can't.

Let's just say it had something to do with my Double Super Secret Background.

But I'm back now.

Let the fun begin!

Now, I never thought of myself as much of a conspiracy theorist... I'll leave that up to Mr. Fin (he occasionally blogs at Mouthfart, along with his wife, Ace).

But, yanno? I kinda wonder about some things... do you?

Like...

Do you think that the technology for more fuel-efficient cars is out there, but it's being quieted by the big automakers?

Do you think that technology exists to make non-fossil fuel vehicles? (hydrogen powered cars)

Do you think that there's a cure for cancer, but the drug companies aren't releasing it, because they're making too much money on "treatment"? (treating a problem for the rest of someone's life pays a lot better than just solving the problem, no?)

Do you think the government knows more than it's told us regarding extra-terrestrials?

What do you guys think? Could any of those things be true?

The reason I'm asking is because, well... have you heard of Mexoryl SX? It's an ingredient found in European and Canadian sunscreens, and it's supposedly by far better than any sunscreen in the US. So why isn't it sold here? Well, apparently, it hasn't been approved by the FDA. FDA approval could take years. But then again, this product has been out for years in Europe. So why are we so slow to get on the bandwagon?

Because there's money to be made in skin cancer.

But then again, you'd only think that if you were a conspiracy theorist, right? So, are you?

Do you believe?

OK, I think we've all grown up with them. And I still see them everywhere... but I guess I didn't realize... people still read Archie comics?

You know what I'm talking about. Archie, Jughead, Reggie... Betty and Veronica... Big Moose, Midge, Mr. Weatherby. I still see the little comic booklets at the check-out aisle...

Yeah. I read that stuff when I was a kid. But really, I would have thought that times have changed, and that kinda stuff would be... well, "old." Or, at the very least, old-fashioned. Do kids still really read these? Don't get me wrong - it wouldn't be a bad thing if they did. It'd just be... surprising. To me.

Maybe I'll have to go out and get a book during lunch. I'll read it as I down my free slurpee.

And for the record, I always always always thought Betty was hotter than Veronica. And now, it's not just because she was blonde. I mean, come on... she was always so much nicer, and Veronica's just a spoiled bitch.

Don't mess with Midge, though. Big Moose'll kill you.

Ooo. Today is Free Slurpee Day! So, if there's a 7-11 near you, make sure to stop in and enjoy.

And I had this idear over on pesky'apostrophe (where I'm guest-posting)... if you've got a Flickr account, when you get a Slurpee, take a picture of your discolored tongue. Yeah, it seems silly, but take a look around... the world needs more silliness.

Especially on a Monday.

Has anybody else seen Oscar Mayer's new promotion? Where you can win the Weinermobile for a day? Oh hell yeah, I would love to ride around in that thing.

My first reaction, though? What I'd do? I don't think Oscar Mayer would approve...

I'd just drive around L.A. and try to get girls to flash me. For beads. No, wait. Joelle's right. No beads; I'll give 'em all hot dogs. And of course, I'd take pictures, and I'd put 'em all up on my Flickr account.

Or hey, a road trip to Vegas. First, we'd stop at Baker for a photo-op with the World's Tallest Thermometer. Then I'd take that pup on the Strip. Can you imagine how many babes you could pick up with that thing? It'd have to be like, at least one or two.

Man, I dunno. I'll think of something.

I dunno about this...

A California woman is suing a hospital for wrongful death because her husband fainted and suffered a fatal injury after helping delivery room staff give her a pain-killing injection.

...

The sight of the needle caused Steven Passalaqua, 33, to faint and he fell backward, striking his head on an aluminum cap molding at the base of the wall. Jeanette Passalaqua delivered the couple's second child, a boy, later that day. Steven Passalaqua, however, suffered a brain hemorrhage as a result of his fall and died two days later, the lawsuit said.

...

The suit seeks unspecified damages related to Steven Passalaqua's death and to Jeanette Passalaqua's emotional distress at being widowed with two young children.

Because Passalaqua was solicited by Kaiser to assist in the epidural, the lawsuit said, the hospital "owed him a duty to exercise reasonable care to prevent foreseeable injuries resulting from his participation." [full story]

OK, first of all... what a pussy. He faints at the sight of someone else getting a shot? OK, fine.

But hey. Lady. You know, sometimes shit just happens. Accidents happen. You can't blame all the shit in your life on someone else. Maybe, when they asked your husband to assist in giving the epidural, you coulda spoke up and said "Hey, maybe he shouldn't. He's a big pussy and all." Well, maybe she'd phrase it nicer, but you get the point.

Yes, it's tragic that your husband died. But it's not like he fainted and fell on a box of knives that somebody carelessly left out - he hit something on the wall; something you probably would have never noticed. I can't see how you can hold the hospital liable for something that they couldn't possibly forsee. I mean, what if that molding wasn't there, he hit his head on the wall, and died anyway? What then? Take all the walls out of hospitals?

To paraphrase Freud... sometimes an accident is just an accident.