Hey Freak!

You know, I consider myself a pretty nice guy. I'm polite to strangers. I open doors for people. I treat people the way I want to be treated. You know, that whole "consideration" thing.

But.

I swear, sometimes, I wish I had no conscience. I wish I could be a total dick. I want to cut people off in traffic. I want to turn left from the right lane (in Chicago, this is normal). I want to go through the express lane at the grocery store with a hundred thousand items. And have ten thousand coupons. And write a check. And not start writing the check until after the teller is done totalling everything. I want to let doors slam in other people's faces. I want to have the freedom to tell anyone at anytime, "Shut the fuck up, bitch!"

There's more. I fuckin' swear, sometimes, road rage seems totally justified. Some people, I want to follow them to wherever they're going and then beat the holy fuck out of them. Don't worry - I'm no killer. But damn, it sure would feel good to just pummel someone into unconsciousness, don't you think?

Ah, that'd be just awesome.

Some people dream about vacationing in the tropics, travelling the world, winning the lottery, etc. Me? I dream about beating the shit out of people. And, like the lottery, it'll probably never happen. When it comes down to it, I'm just not a violent person.

But I can still dream.

*sigh*

*looks around* Anyone here I know? Hmm. Okay, I'll confess, sometimes I feel this way, too. Many people would be surprised about that.

i know what you mean. i daydream about slashing my neighbors tires when they double park, or beating the shit out of them when they're making ungodly amounts of noise early in the morning or late at night. and road rage... i daydream about ramming my car into other cars, like bumper cars.

but like you, i'm a nice non-violent person. i'm kinda afraid one of these days i'm just gonna snap.

i totally agree. sometimes it's a real bitch having a conscience. i just hope there's that little thing called karma that comes around and bites all the retards in the ass someday!

Dammit, I have a conscious, too, and it sucks ! I would love to slap my annoying-ass neighbours (Dave and Tara) silly, and shoot the fucktard guy in the souped-up orange VW that backfires on purpose, and have the white trash people across the street vaporized, but I guess that I can't do that stuff, and, even if I could, I'd feel guilty as shit for a day or two ...

Dammit, I spelled conscience wrong !

I feel like pummelling people I work with everyday... Sometimes I wake up with a smile from dreaming about it - then I realize it was only a dream and that I have to go to work...

DENIAL.....violence has to start somewhere...the idea orignates in the brain and yes, the person chooses whether or not to act, but truely non-violent people do not fantasize about slashing, beating, pummeling etc. Trust me, there are plenty of people that I would love to beat the fuck out of.....the trick is I am not actively violent, however I am conscious (mindful) that I could be. So ya'll....we have apathetic violence....we bitch and fantasize and then don't do a gawd damned thing about it other than blog....

um. i don't get it... are you implying that I'm not only violent, but in denial over it? because honestly, i don't see the difference between you and me, Justathought. you also admitted that there are plenty of people you'd like to beat up. neither of us act on those thoughts.

so what's your point?

I say go for it. Have fun! Act like an ass in traffic. It is one place people cannot totally stop you!

See, I'm all about the beating thing but I also have a strange urge to just pee on them. I mean, they expect a beating. They're not expecting piss.

How do you know about the turn lane dyslexia that is rampant in Chicago?

oh god, you just don't even KNOW. I totally agree with you sometimes. That's why I'm getting a punching bag to hang in the garage. It's very therapeutic, it's good exercise and you don't have to go to jail. They had one in the officers weight room when I worked at the prison and it did WONDERS for my disposition after a bad work day.

Save yourself the indictment and get a bag, my friend. Oh, and gloves too. Because punching a bag barefisted gives you friction burns on your knuckles. Trust Momma when she says this.

I'm with you. It's good to have a dream.

My point is Mikey....that we are violent people we just don't act on it. Anyone who gets pleasure from fantisizing about hurting someone else is violent. Ask the Dalai Lama what he thinks about beating people up...he would be appalled...that is a truly non-violent person. Get it?

i totally understand where you are coming from. but since i am also not a violent girl i use the Sims 2 to take out my frustration...i'm supposed to burn down my ex-boyfriend's house with him and his wife in it soon.

I get that feeling almost every day biking home from work. Most drivers are not very considerate about bikers. Sometimes they don't even notice me.

I hate those right lane-left turners! WHAT THE FUCK. Oh yea, I throw middle fingers.

Another thing I notice getting much worse in Chicago is drivers beating the red... WHY does everyone think if they bunch up close enough it is okay to blantently blow the red light? HUH!? HUH!? Left-turning-on-red- from-the-right-lane-motherfuckers.

Wow... I almost spilled my tea, getting all worked up... SERENITY NOW!

You will notice that the very richest people, the ones who "did what was necessary to make it to the top", are either sociopathic, or display some serious sociopathic tendancies. Lack of conscience or moral center does wonders for getting ahead. Not so much for the soul, though.

And Justathought? Don't be a condescending twit. Saying that someone who would contemplate violence in their mind is a violent person is like saying someone who contemplates what it must be like to be a butterfly is, in fact, a butterfly. Rubbish.

i like meeting new people who r open minded and creative in life

shell i need to see u soon and share new stuff with u

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