Hey Freak!

Just a reminder - whenever you see somebody do something you think is really stupid, please remember that you're likely guilty of doing a lot of stupid things too.

One of my stupid episodes happened last weekend.

Let me preface this by saying - all stupid ideas seem like a good idea at the time. Peeling carrots with a steak knife because you can't find the peeler (and you're too lazy to look for it)? Maybe it seems like a good idea at the time. Trust me. It's not.

I think I might have built this up too much, because what I did? It wasn't much. Don't get me wrong - it was definitely stupid (and messy), but I was never really in danger of being hurt or anything. You see, I was trying to open a 12-pack of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. You're supposed to "punch" a hole in the box so you can reach in and peel off the "fridge mate" thing or whatever. Well, the box was pretty damp, so punching a hole in it was impossible. Since punching would be futile, I decided to open the box with scissors. But first, I needed to poke a hole in the box... so I used... the scissors. Now, at the time, I was thinking "You fucking dumbass; you're gonna puncture one of the cans with that!" But my inner dumbass was saying "No no no, you'll be fine. Just don't poke too hard. Nothing bad will happen!"

So, you can guess what happened. I poked the scissors right thru a can, and proceeded to get Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper all over the counter, the floor, the sink, and... well, all over me. Not a pretty sight.

Go ahead. Laugh. It's funny. I'll freely admit that.

But damn, doesn't it suck when you do something stupid and you've got nobody to blame but yourself? Hahahahahahah.

(For the record, when I was a kid, I almost cut off the index finger on my left hand because... I tried to peel a carrot with a steak knife, and slipped. so that's where that story came from. I guess I have a history of stupidity.)

So, where am I going with this? Nowhere. But, if you happen to think of any "Geez, I'm a dumbass..." stories, feel free to share 'em! We won't laugh, really!

aw, what a waste of a diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper - i love that stuff!

but i have done something similar. i buy cases of bottled water (bad for the environment, i know) and they come wrapped in plastic. one morning i was in a rush on my way to work and i needed a quick way to cut through the plastic. so i grabbed to nearest sharp thing i could find - my 6" chefs knife! and being in a hurry i just shove it through the plastic and slide... which immediately yeilds a fountain of water. dumbass! i cut right through the water bottle. see? i'm an idiot too.

I've never done anything stupid at all. I'm practically perfect in every way. Oh, unless you count that time I left a pack of cigarettes with my Bic lighter in it on top of a hot engine block. After about two minutes, that fucker exploded into little bits of plastic shrapnel all over the garage. It took me a while to dig all the little orange bits out of the drywall.

Does opening childproof bottles with your teeth fall into this category? Especially if you chip a piece of enamel off of one of your teeth in the process?

I had to have a veneer put on, ugh. It was a mess.

I can categorically deny that at no time when I was younger did I purchase a copy of Ton Loc's "Loc-ed After Dark" tape. The girl on the counter definitely removed the big, plastic, anti-stick-it-in-your-pocket thing, which naturally did not result in me trying to pry it off with my Swiss Army knife. I did not slip and slice open my finger, necessitating a trip to any ER. Ahem. Not I.

Oh man...I LOVE Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper...

I do these things in twosies. It's only then that I seem to get it into my head that perhaps I should stop with the stupid. Like that one time when I was 5 and I stapled my finger "just to see if i could control it from going into my finger"....didn't stop me from doing it again last year "just to see if things had changed".

I also have a bad habit (or used to) of slicing cheese/veggies horizontally toward my index finger thinking I could be careful enough not to slice my skin. Yeah, there are scars.

The worst part is, you just had this conversation with yourself. You KNOW what is going to happen, but you do it anyway. Now the little voice in your head can do its victory dance "I told ya so. Uh uh. "

I've speant the last two weekends painting walls and both weekends I convinced myself that I was careful and talented enough to skip the big project that walking accross the room and unfolding the tarp would have been. Both weekends saw me on the floor scrubbing paint out of the carpet. Lazy wins over Smart pretty often, but rarely produces good results.

That was too funny Mikey. I can't think of any off the top of my head but I know I have done some dumb things - I'll get back to you.

Oh jeez - where do I begin? I've done the pop can one 3 times in the past month...

So is that Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper any good? I have been thinking about trying it out, but that might be to many flavors at once for my taste buds.

Never stabbed though a soda can but I have dropped one and had it puncture a hole in the can. Those little suckers take off so then it's a combination of trying to catch it while soda is spraying everywhere.

Funny

My daughter set the toaster oven on fire last night.
She put some cheesy garlic bread in but didn't put it on the tray.
So when the cheese and butter melted it fell on the element and caught on fire.

LOTS of dumb-kid accidents but recently set the weedeater down-and left it running- while I moved a garden hose. Stepped into the business-end. My calf looked like a tiger had "played" with it for months. Actually, I tend to drink while I do yardwork which MAY have contributed to the accident. I guess that's two dumb things.

Can someone explain to me why they put the word cherry on the cans of cherry vanilla dr pepper. Dr. Pepper is already cherry-flavored, right? isn't that like saying ATM machine?

Just wonderin . . . .

I don't really know why they call it cherry or vanilla. The only difference I can find between diet cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper and diet Dr. Pepper is the reddish tint to the DCVDP. They taste just the same to me.

Oh, and on the subject of stupid behavior, I've never done anything of the sort. Unless you count that time I set my yard on fire, or that time I broke my arm because I was playing football at 11:00 at night with almost no lights, or that time...

Oh man, if I tried to list all of the stupid stuff I've done & still do, the internet would blow up. My brain leaves me often. ha.

Love the diet cherry vanilla dr pepper.

Now for my stupidity. It wasn't me that thought on Saturday that I was Micheal Flately, therefore Lord of the Dance, and that I could most definitley do an Irish jig in spike heels after consumming numerous Coors lights at the reception. Nor was it me, who is PRONE to sprained ankles and just sprained one, the one who went out and mid hop, so did the said ankle, resulting in the forced landing on the side of the foot. Which resulted in a trip to the ER where it was proclaimed that 1) I am NOT the lord of the dance, and 2) the foot was severely sprained, and crutches were to be used.


Did I mention that I DID finish the dance? Which is probably why the foot is severely sprained instead of just sprained...

I needed this post today! I was having the WORST morning and these made me giggle. Other people's misery is always so much funnier than your own somehow.

when i was working at home depot they had the retard-proof box cutters w/ the blade retracting spring but i still managed to slice my finger open and required 4 stitches to stop the bleeding. rad.

Last night. Wal-mart. Backing slowly out of a parking spot. VERY slowly. I think I've looked all around and see no one. Then I feel this bump. I honestly don't know if I backed into her, or she me. Luckily, we just rubbed each other. Minor, minor damage. Still... felt like an idiot.

Like many others, I could probably type for days listing the number of dumb things I've done. The first that comes to mind is the time I saw a string hanging off one of my items of clothing in the closet. I didn't have anything to cut it with and the damn thing wouldn't tear off when I pulled it. I did have a lighter handy though...hmmm.... Yep, I tried to burn it off. Next thing I knew the entire closet was in blazes. Had to grab an armload of clothes and run them outside quickly before the whole house caught ablaze. Oh, and speaking of soda cans -- it was a girl (isn't it always?) in 3rd grade who inspired me to display my amazing strength by twisting an empty can with my bare hands. Almost lost a thumb over that one.

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