Hey Freak!

Just a few really random thoughts:

• Have you ever watched your tongue while you're brushing your teeth? I don't know about you, but mine goes kinda crazy, sloshing around, moving back and forth like it was tweaking. I tried to make a concerted effort to keep it still, but it just kept moving and moving. Yeah, it's just something odd that I've never noticed before.


• Have you ever been driving along, and it's a little cloudy, and then up ahead on the pavement, it looks really dark? And then you drive through it, and it's just pouring down rain, but only for a minute or so, and then you're back in clear, dry skies? That happened to me this weekend. It's no big deal, but I think it's just weird and funny. You know, like when it's raining on your neighbor's house, but not on your own, even though you're only separated by a few feet.


• Two things about me: 1) I'm pretty oblivious when women are flirting with me. Pretty? I meant totally oblivious. 2) I don't know how to flirt back. You see, this weekend, I went with Joelle up to Santa Monica to see some old friends (Keith, Wendy, Eve, Becky and her husband John, and got to meet Don, Sorgine and her friend Tom, and Keith's girlfriend Rachelle) and we went to Buca di Beppo for dinner. While we were waiting for our table, we were sitting at the bar, and there were two girls (well, women. I have a bad habit of calling all females "girls," no matter what their age) behind us, trying to get a drink. So I scooted over so that one of them could reach the bar, but the bartender didn't notice her for a few minutes. I made some passing comment like "Good luck getting this guy's attention," and she laughed (good God, I just realized... did *I* flirt first?!?!?). A few minutes later, an employee came around, announcing a table for Todd, for three. We looked around, and then one of the girls said something like "Oh, that's us." Then she put her hand on me and said something like "Come on, let's go have dinner." You know, like we were gonna steal Todd's table. I thought of it as a joke, but was later told it was a flirt. Hm.
  
  And then, later, when we were at our table, there was a table behind us, and they asked me if I would take their picture. And one of the women of the group I guess was flirting with me so obviously that OUR whole table noticed (of course I didn't - I figured she just really wanted a picture of them). And when it dawned on me that she was flirting, what did I do? I sat back down at kept eating dinner. I'm fucking useless, I swear. And it's not like she was unattractive - she was actually quite cute. But I'm a big dumbass, and have no idea how to talk to women. Well, strangers, anyway. Seriously, I've got NO game. I could've spent that night giving out a ColdStone Creamery¹, but instead, I just ate my baked ravioli.


• Dog lovers - if you want to make yourself sick, watch some ESPN today. It's all about Michael Vick pleading guilty to dogfighting charges, and there is no shortage of people who think that Vick is being wronged. Seriously, the comments go like "I don't think he should get any jail time. Maybe a slap on the wrist, and some probation, but that's it," and "It's just dogs; what's the big deal?" And, of course, there are also a bunch of pro athletes who think he's being singled out because of who he is - a high profile black athlete. Fucking please. Bottom line - the guy broke the law, and regardless of who he is, he should do the time. My bottom line - he's a fucking horrible person who bred dogs for killing, killed those who didn't, and then lied about the whole thing. This is a guy who had the world at his feet, and threw it all away. Nobody is to blame but himself.


• Oh yeah, almost forgot about this - have you ever been driving like, late at night, and you spot someone weaving all over the place? And then you figure it's a drunk driver, so you try to call the Highway Patrol to report him? Ever done that? Well, Saturday night, on the way home from LA, we saw such a car. So we tried to call the police. And we couldn't reach them. We weren't given a non-emergency number, so we tried 911, and that wasn't working, either (dialing 911 once put my phone in "emergency" mode, which meant we had to dial it again to actually make a call, and we got a switchboard/menu thing, and then it hung up). Fuck me if I ever have someone breaking into my home/stealing my car, because that whole phone ordeal took 10-15 minutes, and in the case of a real emergency, I'd probably be dead by the time I was able just to actually reach the cops.


• We went to see "Superbad" last night. Yeah, I know Jo and I aren't dating anymore, but we're still best friends, and best friends can go to movies together, right? Anyway, we'd both heard it was hilarious, and neither of us had seen a movie (at a theater) in quite some time, so it seemed like a good night for it. Anyway, the movie was pretty funny, but not as rip-roaring as most people told us. I don't know if it was because of the heightened expectations we had, but it just wasn't that funny. Sure, it had quite a few good parts, but some parts seemed to drag on and on and on. I'd still recommend seeing it, though.


• Oh, geez. Vick is on TV again, apologizing for his actions. What I want to know is, is he really sorry for his actions, or is he just sorry that he was caught?

And, I'm spent.

Happy Monday!

¹ You can thank Maine for this euphemism. It's gonna catch on, I swear.

That girl was totally into you and you were like "la , la, ravioli...".

You're oblivious? Dude...I had a guy call me and say "I love you" and I thought he meant, you know...as a friend. And I said "Awww...I love you too!" and then hung up. Apparently I crushed him with my obliviousness. I never know if somebody is flirting with me. Never, ever, ever.

And, I am soooo tired of the Micheal Vick story. He's from the area that I currently live in, so it's top news everyday here. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of listening to the supporters. I'm tired of people implying that I'm a racist for believing he deserves to be in jail. The man killed dogs that wouldn't perform. By hanging and drowning. And for those people who like to compare it to deer hunting....when is the last time a hunter drown a deer with his bare hands? Forced two deer to fight. To the death? When is the last time a person curled up on their couch with a deer to watch TV? Different. Totally different...

Superbad won me over with the awesome penis art. I'm super mature.

I had a few issues with the Michael Vick press conference today.
1) He said he made a "mistake"... No, a mistake is something like I was driving in the city, got confused, turned down a street which ended up being a one way the wrong way and hit a car...thats a mistake. Vick participated in breaking the law for 6 years...not a mistake

2) When I think of Vick I think Virginia Tech football and he never apologized to the Hokies fans for what he did. Thay have a building named after him for crying out loud.

3) Why do I have this sickening feeling that when this is all over and done, he's done his time that he'll end up back in the NFL wearing a Cowboys jersey....God I hope I am wrong...

I could sometimes tell when I was being flirted with, but sometimes not. Regardless, like you, I had very little game to flirt back. Usually, I would be funny and charming, but was too damned shy to seal the deal, or even fucking start the deal.

Not realizing that a girl (I'm 34 and "girl" works for me) is flirting with you is better then the guys who think every girl, everywhere, at every moment is flirting with him. I think the biggest problem would be if you don't flirt back, or give some indication of interest, they will assume you're not available. But having "game" is over-rated I'd say. Course I've been married for like 10 years so what do I know?

You were saying you thought it was a joke. But women do not say these things unless they are into you. If they are not into you, they just don't talk to you or even acknowlege your existance.

If they are into you they give you an in. If you take it then they safely have hit on you. If you do nothing then they think you are not into them.

If they touch you, H*ll yes that is a flirt. I don't care where you are or who you are if they touch you they are interested in you. They are hoping you like them too.

The thing is if you think they are cute and you are into them you find a way to notice and reciprocate, if not, its better to stay in the dark.

And I must have missed a post because you and Joelle are not going out is new on me. That is a bummer.

i gotta tell ya, mikey, every time i see that jackass vick on t.v., saying some crap about how immature it was, and how he has to grow up now...

OH!! my favorite was: "Through this situation I've found Jesus." okay, so all the times he's out on the field and he makes a great play, crosses himself, kisses his fingers, looks up to the sky, and thanks the Almighty... what the hell was THAT about, then? so before, when he did all that, he was acting, but NOW he's found Jesus? sounds like a hypocrite to me!

i just can't take it anymore. i wish they'd soak him down, wire his balls up to 120v, and just electrocute the hell out of him. or how about making him lay down on a cement floor, and we'll all take turns smashing his head into the concrete?

there is NO punishment, no prison time, that will EVER "fix" this, as far as i am concerned.

but, you know, i'm having a pretty good day today otherwise

Vick, in my opinion, must have a sick enjoyment of dog fighting. Plus, doing something for 6 years can't be apologized for with, "I made a mistake", in the statement. Hope he gets the maximum punishment. Sadly, he'll get much less because of his guilty plead.

Forced two deer to fight. To the death? When is the last time a person curled up on their couch with a deer to watch TV? Different.

all my sentiments regarding Superbad are exactly the same. and i'm using that coldstone line; i fully support its advancement.