Hey Freak!

OK, let's be serious for a few moments here...

I know I poke fun at religious fundamentalism every now and then, but I want to make sure that people don't think that I hate all religion. I don't. (BTW, I was raised Catholic, if that means anything to anyone) If you see God as a guiding force to make the best you can of your life, hey, good for you. More power to you. What bothers me is when people use religion as a reason to hate. When people are discriminatory because of religion. When people close their minds to anyting but that religion... that, to me, is when religion becomes a bad thing. That is what I can't stand. I mean, really... if God is so all-knowing and benevolent, then surely, he wouldn't want you hating some of his other creatures just because they look or act a little differently.

And this part is a little late (considering yesterday's holiday, Martin Luther King Day), but I wanted to talk about tolerance. I don't like that word very much. Well, when it comes to social/race relations anyway. I much prefer "understanding." Tolerance implies that you're just putting up with something... something you may or may not like. Understanding goes much further - you actually know why things are the way they are, and why people act the way they do. Understanding brings people together. Understanding requires an open mind. Understanding brings peace.

Anyway, that's my two cents on tolerance vs. understanding.

Last one... this one's mostly (well, totally) for my women readers. You see, I like to consider myself a feminist. Now, I know, a lot of women already have their arms up in the air, since men "can't" be feminists, but whatever. OK, say that I'm sensitive to women's issues. Say that I'm respectful of women. Or, at the very least, say that I'm not a male chauvinist (gah, I certainly hope that I'm not one).

Now, my question is this... can a guy, a man be a feminist (or however you'd like to word it) and still be a porn fan?

Because I like me some porn. Sure, there's a lot of porn that degrading to women. Sure, the industry itself can be seen as degrading to women. Obviously, being a porn fan goes completely against feminism, and that's why I'm having a hard time reconciling this. I mean, I don't want to be known as some misogynistic, chauvinist pig. You know, the "typical" porn fan. But really, if that's what I am... well, I'd like to know.

Seriously.

And hey, if you know any hardcore feminists... please, direct them here. I'd like to hear what they say. I'd like to hear their opinions. Surely, they won't be very favorable, but still, I'd like to know. You know; it's that "understanding" thing again.

So, please... sound off. I'd like to hear what you all have to say, good or bad.

Happy Tuesday!

My answer is yes, you can be both. The women that are in the porn movies, degrading or not, made the choice all by themselves to be in it. They had a CHOICE.

If they were forced into it, than my answer would be different or if they were NOT allowed to be in it (but I don't think you like that kind of porn...do you?).

Yes it is considered by some to be degrading (to more than just women), but if the women are CHOOSING to do it, then what's the problem?

I've been having a hard time with this subject recently myself in regards to what is going on in my own brain. I was recently contacted by someone on Flickr that "borrows" photos of women's faces, cums on the computer screen with that photo on the screen, then posts it as some sort of tribute to that woman. And people like that make me question my own porn looking. Because I feel that some dudes can't separate the porn from reality and then they go on Flickr and leave us gross assed comments and cum on our face photos because they truly think we'll like that. And that leaves me feeling like part of the problem. My looking at porn from time to time. My choice of what photo to take each day. That maybe I shouldn't show this, that, or the other if I don't want to be viewed a certain way.

But when I can separate all of my emotions from it, I can say that yes, you can be both. It's all in how you treat the women around you. It's all in how you present yourself. Actions and all that speak volumes as to your mindset and beliefs.

I think I just successfully rambled without really saying anything...

See, that's the thing, tho. I like to THINK that I treat women with respect, but hell, I could be disrespecting them all the time and wouldn't know it. That's why I'm asking. I don't want to think that I'm something that I'm not, yanno?

Hmm...I like porn. I am female. Am I going to get kicked out of the feminist pool? Don't know, don't care. I agree with soapbox.SUPERSTAR, it is a choice.

I had a discussion with a male friend of mine after he expressed concern about me walking from my apartment to my gym at night (it is about 100 yards, really). I said something to the effect of, if we could change the attitudes of all men towards women, violence against women would no longer exisit. He seemed rather shocked, as if he had never considered it. It isn't a woman walking in the dark by herself that is the problem, it is that section of the male population that think women are not worthy enough to be treated with the respect to refrain from harming them. And I mean ALL women, not just the ones that are your mother or your girlfriend or your close friends. I've seen guys beat the crap out of another guy for saying something bad about their sister but then turn around and say something very degrading about a random woman at the bar. It is as if there are "real" women who are "people" and there are women who are merely body parts / pieces and therefore do require the respect of a "real" person. As long as you see the women in porn as actual people who deserve respect and not just a pair of breasts there for your amusement, I don't see it as a problem.

I'm a feminist. You can be a feminist. I'm like lacroix. I'm female and I like porn. I don't find it degrading because I assume that the women involved could choose not to be involved.

In that same vein, though, I find it slightly offensive that some of my favorite free porn viddie sites use terms like bitch and whore when describing women. I mean, they're making porn. They're getting popped in various ways or jizzed on...whatever...but do we need to identify them as sluts, too?

I told you this yesterday, but my argument is the same as soapbox.SUPERSTAR's. It's their choice. Some of them find it empowering and while I don't think the whole "empowering" thing goes a bit far a lot of the time, it's ultimately a choice unless they're held at penis-point and forced to do it.

I am fine with porn, for the most part, as long as it's not literally degrading to women: i.e., animals, inanimate objects like brooms, fecal play, vomit... that sort of thing. That's just NOT ok, as far as I'm concerned). To me, that is degrading and if you watched that kind of porn, then yes... I think you'd have reason to be conflicted.

But, you don't. I know this and you are one man I can definitely say is respectful of women. I'm biased, I guess, but you're one of those guys all the girls like...

I love it that you just asked this question, Mikey. The fact that you are asking it in such an honest straight forward way makes me want to say that yes - you can be both! Because it seems that you are. Women in pornographic movies are making a choice to be there. And for the record, I watch and enjoy porn too (and I'm a woman).

I don't have much to add in the way of comments, Soapbox, Itchy, Lacroix, and Joelle said it pretty well.

But I did figure I'd share this comic that appeared today...rather timely I'd say...

I certainly hope so..

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