Hey Freak!

Now, everybody knows I love a good fart story. This is not a good fart story:

NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- What do you do if you pass embarrassing gas on an airplane? One woman found out what not to do.

A Nashville International Airport spokeswoman said an American Airlines plane bound for Texas had to make an emergency landing Monday morning in Nashville after matches were lit in flight.

The pilot said the concern was what passengers said they smelled inside the aircraft and that he did not feel it was safe to continue on. [full story]

Let's set aside the humor part for a second. Lady. You're in a metal tube filled with pressurized air. Don't you think that lighting a match in this environment might be, oh, I don't know... fucking dangerous (wait, it is dangerous, isn't it?)? And even if it wasn't, don't you think that, in the day and age of terrorism, you might alarm some people by doing that?

I'm sorry. If I fart in public like that, I handle it the old fashioned way - I blame someone else.

Oh, please. Don't act like you've never done that. You know, you're sitting there, having to fart, and you squeeze it out, hoping that it won't smell. But it does. So you wait until someone's looking at you, then you pretend that you just smelled something. Then you give that person the "Did you do that? I sure as hell didn't!" look. Or maybe you give them "Really, it's not my brand!" look.

That's the way farting in public is supposed to work. And, eventually, the fart dissapates. Well, hopefully.

Instead, because this woman didn't know basic fart etiquette, the plane was forced to land. I'm glad that it wasn't anything serious, but can you imagine the other passengers on the plane, explaining the tardiness? "Sorry I'm late for the meeting, but my plane was delayed by a farting woman." Hahahahah.

from Shakespeare's Sister

Since you used to be able to smoke on planes, I wouldn't think lighting a match would be dangerous...but I can see how it would be an issue with our "She has a match, she must be a terrorist" mentality.

Did you catch that she managed to deflect attention away from her farts? People were more focused on her matches. Yes, she lit up because she, well...lit up. But everyone was more concerned about the matches than her "chemical warfare."

I once farted in the frozen food aisle and had to turn my wife around who was coming towards me, it was that bad.

But the kicker was the family who followed behind us and ran into it.

The looks on their faces was hysterical!!

I'm glad I was at home when I read this, because I laughed out loud.

Lighting a match may not be dangerous (after all, it isn't as if we are pressurizing the cabin with pure oxygen), but it's also probably not allowed anymore.

The best part (to me) is that she was trying to hide it, but now everyone, including people like us who weren't even on the plane, knows that she farted. She's got to be seeing her story all over the place and having to explain to people why she wasn't on the right flight coming home.

That's too funny. I can't believe someone would still try to light matches on a plane.

damn, the world is full of stupid people. Farting etiquette is something that most people learn in grade school. Maybe it should become a college course as well.

the one and only time i ever tooted in public, i was in 2nd grade. we were watching freaky friday (the jodie foster version) and i pulled my shoelace so hard, it just came out. i immediately blamed the girl next to me, and it worked!!!

so it's true, you do learn it in grade school. maybe the lady on the plane was the girl sitting next to me in 2nd grade and she just never learned?

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