Hey Freak!

A Truce. Mutual understanding. It's a beautiful thing.

April has since apologized for her comments regarding all Mexicans, both on her blog and in the comments on my previous post. Thank You, April.

As a result, I'm closing the comments there. There's no need to bash her anymore. Bash me instead.

You see, I read her post and got angry. Then I read her explanation, which didn't really "fly" with me. So, I left a comment out of anger, and called her out as a racist. This wasn't really fair to her, as, aside from those posts, she hadn't really said anything else to lead me to believe she's a racist. Yes, I flew off the handle. So she was angry, I was angry, everybody was fuckin' angry.

It's only when we calmed down and like, tried to understand what the other person was thinking when we finally got to a truce.

She was angry. Her anger was justified, but poorly directed. She apologized. I was angry. My anger was justified, but I didn't have to get into the name calling. For that, I apologize. We were both wrong.

Hey, I never said I was perfect. But I try. It's all water under the bridge now. We understand each other, and now we're moving on.

Good? Good.

Good.

Thank you!! Thank you!!
I appreciate your approach, and I'm extremely happy we can have an understanding!
MUAH!!!!
~April~

You two should be nominated to the UN! I LOVE that you both spouted, then listened, then spouted some more and came to an actual understanding of the other. What a concept! Understanding. This whole thing has been an inspiration. And you know what? If you hadn't confronted each other, this would have never happened. You (and we) wouldn't have learned anything or gained any insight. So, I say, I applaud you for taking the risk and having the conflict and MOST IMPORTANTLY resolving the conflict. We could all learn a lot from this. You rock!

Yay!

Such a Montel moment. Personally, I prefer Springer, but, oh well. Accord is accord.

You are so gonna hate me for this.

I have no problem with people mention ethnicity when what they are talking about involves people of that ethnicity.

I don't see racism everywhere I look. In fact, I think continuous cries of racism over every little thing renders real racism moot.

Racists are people that want to hurt you. They want to take you down. They want to rid the world of you. They burn crosses on your lawn. Thy're not people who are simply stereotyping...

I'm a girl. I'm not supposed to be able to fix cars or lift heavy objects or god forbid, take out my own trash.

Simply speaking of an ethnicity because of a personal experience doesn't smack of racism to me. It's not "I want to kill them/rid the world of them" And I didn't see her bashing all Mexicans. She simply said that based on her experience she doesn't like them.

I don't care for Puerto Ricans on the whole. But I live in a area where I see first hand some seriously nasty behaviours that seem very consistent. This is not to say I don't think their kids or cute or I don't say excuse me if I bump into them or not smile at them when they smile at me...and I speak to them as the human people they are. I just don't like the consistent behaviours I see.

I had a conversation with a Black friend of mine...an argument really, and angered him greatly. I questioned how most Black people are so offended by the "n" word when they call each other that name.

I do not wander around referring to myself as a honky or a cracker. And i don't care if people think I must be a drunk because I'm Irish. I don't drink...who cares?

Am I a racist because I think Black men dress and smell so much better than white men?

Am I a racist because I have this strange idea that Asian people are generally more intelligent and have well behaved children?

Am I a racist because I think white kids with those backward hats and baggy pants are trying to emulate Black kids?

Am I a racist because I think many Latin men are absolutely gorgeous?

Am I a racist because I adore Polish food and can't wait to go to my best friends house to have her Mom's peirogis and golumpkis? But I hate Indian food?

Am I a racist because my friend from Ghana brings me the most gorgeous dashiki-like dresses and I wear them all the time...or am I just a wannabe?

I dislike Christians, don't know if I believe in god, and see good and bad in all people everywhere..no matter their race, creed or sexual proclivity. But I don't have to like everybody. Some of the people I don't like are my own race, some are of other races.

Or maybe I'm not a racist because I think all people are human people with feelings and should be treated as such. And maybe I'm not a racist because i rarely say any of the above out loud and just keep my silly little prejudices and stereotypes to myself. Or maybe it's because I despise all this politically correct bullshit where people are not allowed to say what they want to say because everybody and their dog will be offended by it?

I'm not a racist. I'm a thinking person with opinions based on my personal experience...and I treat all people kindly, including the little old lady who rammed my ankles with her shopping cart because I was in her way. I actually said excuse me instead of the fuck you that I really wanted to say. (unless I'm having a bad hair day or hot flashing, then all bets are off.)

Screaming racism constantly only makes real racism harder to determine and it also pisses people off when all they are doing is expressing an opinion with no intention of pulling out an assault rifle and taking leering Mexican men out.

Me? I was more frightened of the kids (ages 9-14) that lived across the street from me...of my own race...who patrolled their yard with guns in hand than I ever have been of any person not of my own race.

But we have to consider I do not, nor have ever, lived in an inner city. If I did, I'd probably have many more negative opinions of various races than I do now. But even then, I would never want to hurt anyone.

What's in my head...well, that's something else altogether. And honestly, I wouldn't be writing this here under normal circumstances because as I said, my silly little stereotypes and prejudices remain only for me in my own personal ignorant mind.

These are my opinions and if you or any of your regulars want to have at me, go for it.

I sleep well at night because I don't hurt people.

First of all I'm glad you sleep well Ann. Whether or not this has anything to do with complete denial in the mere existence of racism is your own deal. I have a huge guilt complex about things for which I hold no responsibility but I sleep pretty soundly myself for very long periods of time. The getting there might not be easy but a big bottle of mezcal helps. (ok, I'm kidding)

But I have to respectfully disagree that the only symptom of racism is violent action. See, those cross-burnings don't just come out of the blue. They're the final product of a very long period of dehumanizing a group of people, that, I believe, starts with a few sweeping generalizations.

I'm willing to bet your black friend was annoyed with your n-word argument, not because it made any sense, but because it was a typical straw man argument and was an intellectually insulting method to use in an emotional debate.

FYI, most sociologists believe the use of the n-word by black people is similar to women using "bitch" and "cunt" freely amongst themselves. It is a part of "taking back" a word that's been used to demean them and making a whole new definition of the word on their own terms.

Yeah, Noelle said it about right I think. Violent and hatred are end results of racism.

Step one is identifying people as their race.

Step two is getting vocal about it and reminding each other that we're different. (My least favorite...)

Step three is assigning traits to people based on race. (i.e.kids wearing baggy pants are doing so in an effort to "be black", as opposed to doing so to emulate their personal idols - rappers, skateboarders, etc.)

Step four is attributing a problem to that race and their traits.

Step five is hatred and violence based on traits that they're assumed to have because of their race.

By the way, I'm black, and I dress quite poorly. Not because I'm "trying to be white" or whatever race doesn't dress as neatly, but more because I don't validate myself through my clothing, as so many hip hop fans do based on the material ideal that hip hop promotes.

Not black people... hip hop fans. Go to a club sometime. You'll see people of all colors wearing $150 shirts to fit in.

"Misplaced hate makes disgrace to races."

For $150, I could get about 15 shirts at Unique Thrift, over on 7th and Indian School.

As long as it's all water under the bridge, as you said, I think it's good. agree, racisim is bad. I don't agree with it but I won't tell them how to think. But I think its cool how you stand up for what you beleive in. I give you kudos for that.

"They're the final product of a very long period of dehumanizing a group of people, that, I believe, starts with a few sweeping generalizations."

But see, I don't dehumanize anyone. Ever. I have some ignorant sterotypes in my small little mind. But I treat all people well...unless they're assholes and far as I know assholes come in a rainbow of colours, religions, genders and sexualities. An asshole is an asshole is an asshole. I may be one myself...not all the time but sometimes.

I treat people well because I want to be treated well. And when Mikey was attacked because of his race I was one of the first ones to get equally as indignant as he was.

My point is you have to pick your battles. Opinions are opinions. Even racists have a right to those opinions.

Violence may be the end product but true hatred is the issue. Disliking, complaining about, spouting off on a particula religion or race does not hatred make. Ignorant, maybe, small minded, maybe, hatred, probably not so much.

My beef is with all the politically correct way of going about things because someone will be offended by what you say or do. I call bullshit. I am not a politically correct person.

BUT I hold no hatred towards anyone based on race religion, gender or sexual proclivity (unless your fucking dead people, dogs or kids)

If I say I dislike christianity nobody is going to call me out as a racist...because christianity is not a race. And most likely nobody would attack me for that because it's my opinion. But disliking christians isn't the same as hating them...it's the religion I dislike and some of the behaviours of so-called christians. I was raised a friggin christian.

Hatred begets violence...hating a person of colour begets violence. Hating gay people begets violence and even causes so-called christians to want to build monuments in parks decrying Matthew Shepard. That makes me sick to my stomach....especially as the relative of 4 gay and lesbian aunts and uncles, one of whom is surgically transgendered. Reading or seeing anything about gay bashing pisses me right the fuck off, but I can't change an opinion...I can just hope that people stop the violence against them.

I don't hate. I dislike. I dislike seeing the race card tossed on the table every 2.5 seconds. I believe it detracts from true racism. And yes, it's hatred and violence that defines true racism...not some drive by opinion.

Under normal circumstances I keep those opinions and prejudices (which is not the same as racism btw) to myself. Feeling the need to comment on this, I put it into words...for maybe the first time in my life.

I don't hate...unless you count my mother and sisterand my husbands ex pyscho wife...but even then I have no plans to climb a clocktower and take them out.

I base my opinions on my experiences. To tell me that my feelings are wrong invalidates me. Just as racism invalidates a person.

And Main, I'm not talking about Black men in clubs or those into hip hop who wear 30 pounds of gold...I'm talking about the Black men I see where I live. I wish my husband dressed as well as the Black men I see in my area. And I'm fully aware not ALL Black men dress well.

I am also fully aware that racism is a hatred towards a group as a whole. I dislike SOME people based on the things I see. With my eyes. And then it's not so much the people as it is the behaviours.

But hate? No. You can call me a racist because I have eyes to see and a mind that thinks and the sense to know that certain cultures behave in different ways that I may not agree with. I don't hate them. I dislike them.

But I absolutely despise political correctness. And I see too many times where the race card is tossed on the table because someone is not acting politically correct...which to my mind , is equally as discriminating.

Attacking a passing opinion is wasting one's energy, not likely to change the opinion but to reinforce it.

Pick your battles. Make sure they're meaningful. And stop listening to Al Sharpton despense his own personal brand of hatred towards white people because that's exactly what he's doing under the guise of of crusading for human rights.

I don't think like a sheep. I think for myself. My opinions are my own and since I will never commit violence on any person (I'm a pacifist) no matter my feelings towards them, calling me a racist is like calling me a republican...never gonna happen.

My opinions on racism have stayed entirely in my own head...until now.

Why is something like this post rare? Love ya, Mikey.

"Am I a racist because I think Black men dress and smell so much better than white men?"

Maybe I'm an idiot, but I don't see the word "some" in there. I don't see a "where I live" rider tagged onto the back there. I see "black men dress and smell better than white men."

That statement, whether you want to think so or not, is racist. It makes a broad statement about ALL black men, based on your observations of a few. However, since you don't say "a few" or "some," anyone who reads your words is led to think that this is something black people do. This, while it isn't hatred, is isolating, separatist thinking.

"Black people do this. White people do that."

That is what you're saying. And it is racist. And it's harmful. Your intentions are good. Your words are damaging. And racist.

I've tried to be rational. I've tried to express an OPINION. I've tried to do it nicely. But apparently, even if you're being rational and nice, you will still get people who haven't actually read what I write and just go off.

Definition of racism:

Function: noun
1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race

Why do I have to say some, or most? Why is this just not a given? Has the entire world become so politically correct that if you leave out "the, a, or so, some, all or most" your opinion just took on a whole new meaning? You will not I never used the word ALL anywhere. Is that something I should have done?

As far as I'm concerned when you base your life on WHAT you are and not WHO you are, you will always be seen as WHAT you are. When you know who you are, only then will you be comfortable in your own skin.

If you take my Black men dress well comment and put it up against the definition of racism (from Merriam-Webster,) then one would have to believe that I think Blacks are superior to Whites in the way that they dress.

You guys are seriously in need of a little introspection. I highly doubt that any one of you holds no bad opinion towards any race, creed or sexual proclivity.

Ever turn a Jehovah's witness away? Vote no on gay marriage? Secretly despise white people?

Don't sell me something that you do and think but won't say a loud for fear of being called out as a racist.

At this point I don't care if you call me a dog fucking, racist pedophile. I know WHO I am.

You believe what you want to belive...makes no nevermind to me. Really.

"Ever turn a Jehovah's witness away?Vote no on gay marriage? Secretly despise white people?"

What kind of fucked up secret life do you think people are living here? Is it so foreign to imagine that someone could GENUINELY not be racist or secretly resentful that these concepts seem odd to you?

No, I've never secretly hated white people! Is this what you're thinking and not saying about black people? That we all sit down and hate white people at one point or another? Like it's impossible to conceptualize not secretly thinking shitty thoughts about other races altogether? Like its not possible to see someone and form an opinion on them as an individual, instead of as a group? What the fuck is wrong with you? What!? Really! What?!

You're making very light of the exclusion of the "some, few or all" modifier, but there is a huge fucking difference between "Black men dress better than white men" and "Some black men dress better than some white men." Without that word, YES, your opinion takes on a NEW meaning!

Holy shit... You're in denial, and I can't believe I'm actually wasting seconds of my life discussing this with you. If you want to go to bed and feel good about yourself because the dictionary validates your fucked up reasoning, then fine. But at least read the entire entry if you will...

RACISM:
2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

DISCRIMINATION:
1. The act of discriminating.
2. The ability or power to see or make fine distinctions; discernment.
3. Treatment or consideration based on class or category rather than individual merit

If you are discerning and making considerations based on category or race, then you are a racist.

Sleep well.

Hmm. Someone telling me I need to practice introspection and think for myself because I believe that categorizing an entire race of people by certain behaviors is racist. Well, without spilling out too many personal details (that's what my personal site is for, not Mikey's) let me assure you that I have done and continue to do both. My membership in the Lilywhite Limosine Liberal Art School Girl Al Sharpton Fan Club notwithstanding. (kidding!)

I'm not saying that I'm above making sweeping generalizations about a group of people from time to time. I'm not a huge fan of organized religion, particularly the pragmatic way it's been used recently for political gains, and even though I'm originally from the south I sometimes catch myself thinking people with southern accents (including my parents who both have master's degrees and my sister who has a doctorate) might be a bit slow.

But here's the difference: I *know* that making these generalizations are *wrong* and *potentially damaging* so if I do make the grand mistake of verbalizing or posting something that genuinely hurt another person's feelings I would apologize.

I don't feel the need to justify it, I wonder what I can do to change the way I think about things.

Not because it's "Politically Correct" and not because I want to win a popularity contest. But because I strive to be a genuinely good person and included in my personal definition of a good person is one who does not purposefully hurt other people. And one who continues to learn and grow but that's only vaguely germaine to the subject.

You can justify how you generally dislike Puerto Ricans, and your personal belief in the superior dress sense and smell of black men all you want but be aware that some people are going to think that casting an entire *race* of people based on your experiential knowledge of a few is racist.

I know that no one wants to be cast as the villian in their own movie and you're working hard at justifying the fact that you secretly think all Asians are smart or that living in an inner city would give you *more* fodder to dislike entire races and ethnicities because you don't want to do any physical damage to them. And you quibbled with whether or not thoughts like this were dehumanizing.

I personally believe that by putting one face on an entire group based on their racial (or ancestral) lineage is the epitome of de-humanizing, i.e. removing the individual elements that distinguishes human beings from each other.

I honestly don't understand what you want to happen here. Do you want *me* to reassure you that I think it's perfectly ok to dislike Puerto Ricans because you live in a neighborhood with them and "know how they really are" or because you have diverse taste in ethnic food (another example of confusing race with ethnicity)? I'm sorry but I can't help you with that.

Good luck with the move Mikey! Just shoot me an email if you want me to shut up and leave your comments alone

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