Hey Freak!

OK. Say you're out at like, the mall. By yourself. You're dressed casually - you're not wearing your nice clothes, but you don't look like a slob, either. Say, like, jeans and a t-shirt. Something simple.

So, you're looking around, minding your own business, and a man walks up to you. A stranger. He's dressed casually, like you. He's not ugly, but he's no Brad Pitt. Just your normal, everyday guy. He tells you "I'm sorry to bother you, but I have to tell you... I think you have a beautiful smile."

What's your reaction? Thank him for the compliment? Thank him, but think "Damn, this mall's full of freaks!"? Get defensive?

I'm just curious because I think that it's virtually impossible for a guy to give a girl a compliment. I'm talking about a very sincere but straightforward compliment. One with no ulterior motives behind it. Seriously. Like, I'll be out in public, and I'll like, be behind someone in line who's got nice hair, or nice shoes, or a nice smile, or... whatever. And my first reaction is to say "Hey, nice [whatever]." But I know I can't do that, because she'll probably think I'm a freak. Or that I'm trying to get in her pants. Or, just who in the fuck do I think I am, anyway? Yeah, I'd like to avoid that, so I don't say anything.

It's really kinda sad. I mean, you'd think that people would love getting unsolicited compliments, right?

I don't even feel like I can tell a woman that I like her hair without her going "thanks, but I'm straight." It might be statistically impossible for a guy to do it without getting maced.

You know, I think you're right. I would instantly wonder what the motive was if I got an unsolicitied compliment from a stranger.

But then, I'm an antisocial bitch, so please don't go by what I say.

Daria, you have a nice smile

I've had this happen a few times. I usually don't mind. I smile and thank the guy and move on. I've only once let such an exchange actually be the beginning of a conversation though. And then I only did it because I knew the guy worked in the mall. I'd seen him around a few times. Not that this meant he wasn't a freak, but at least I knew he was employed and if he tried anything I could track him down.

it is sad that we can't be friendlier, but for me, and for a lot of women I would imagine, it's a safety issue. Just because a guy looks clean cut doesn't make him safe. We have the likes of Ted Bundy to prove that to us.

i would run away screaming. honestly, if guys did that sort of thing just as a compliment, it wouldn't bother me. but if i don't know you, and you're all "nice [whatever]", you're probably trying to get in my pants.

damn, that kinda makes me sound like i have a big ego.

I get this often (not trying to sound like I have a big ego) but I don't mind it at all. It really makes my day. The guys who are trying to get in my pants will follow the compliment line with.. "you single?" or "can I get your number?" or "wanna hookup sometime?" - but the guys like you're describing, I don't mind at all. So compliment away! It's better to say something than to just stare.. that's the only time I get uncomfortable is when they just stare longer than the normal glance. So long that their mouth opens a little bit and they don't blink. Now THAT is creepy, and makes my skin crawl.

come on Mike, you know you want to get in her pants!

seriously, I know what you mean but can you blame them? I know men, I am a man - we are generally not 'nice guys' who want to just say nice smile ... to quote Billy Crystal what we want to say is: 'Nice ass, can I wear it like a hat?"

I have been, on a couple occasions, complimented on my eyes or my smile by random people. And not like the "we're having a conversation and they just so happen to slip in that I have nice eyes", but more like walking up to me for the sole purpose of telling me that.

Honestly? I was totally flattered and it made my morning/day/evening. And, if it's coming from a normal-joe, "freak" or "pick-up" don't really factor in for me. I just think they're being nice.

I think that a lot of women need to get the fuck over themselves and stop thinking that everyone wants to fuck them. But that's just me.

If a guy comes up to me and pays me a compliment out of the blue (and it's happened), I smile and say thank you (I am genuinely grateful).

On the flip side - I've been on the receiving end of some freaky guys trying to pick me up, so I understand why some girls are extra cautious.

I've also paid a few gentlement compliments before and they suddenly think I want to be the mother of their children...

I think it all boils down to the person and they experiences they've had in life.

actually I do that all the time. Usually they say "thanks!" then I say no problem and walk away.

at this point, they're confused as all hell. "Where's the creepy flirting? Aren't you going to kidnap and rape me? I guess I'm really not pretty! I hate myself. I'm gonna make little cuts on my thigh."

So, yeah, I don't compliment women to make them feel better, I do it to make them think they're not attractive enough for me to be sleazy towards them. That'll show them!

Actually my favorite memory of complimenting someone I had never met...a buddy of mine had a female roomate that moved out 6 months beforehand and still owed him money. He decided to sue her. She worked as a checker at albertsons. I walked in, waited in line, got to her and said "_____, that's a beautiful name." Handed her an envelope with the summons in it. "You've been served."

Am I really this twisted? I don't think so until I start typing.

-z

I'm in the minority, too, I suppose. I have a gorgeous girlfriend. She knows I think she's gorgeous and she knows that -- although I am a tremendous flirt -- I would never dream of even remotely being unfaithful, or even having an unfaithful thought. That affords me the freedom to compliment women at will. I often do.

Just a few weeks ago I was at the Rainbow Room on Sunset (the restaurant next door to the Roxy) and I stopped a woman that was about 8.5 mo pregnant and said, "I'm sorry, but I have got to tell you that I think you are just stunningly beautiful" (which she was). Then I walked away.

(I don't know if it's fair to mention that she is, in fact, a Victoria's Secret model. And that I knew that. And that she likely knew I knew that. But whatever. I'm really just avoiding writing some really hairy stored procedures right now.)

Are you kidding? Compliments get a big smile and a thank you. And sometimes an "Oh, I KNOW! How can you stand it?!?"

No stranger has ever complimented me out of the blue. And I don't like people I don't know. So I would be a bit freaked out.

People have tried to TALK to me, or say "hey, how are you doing" and I usually just smile and keep doing whatever I'm doing. Ignore them, basically. I'm anti-social, I guess.

I've gotten the "You have beautiful eyes" compliment well, I wouldn't say "many times" but I'd say I could count them on two hands. And I also get the "nice smile" one on occasion, but it goes without saying I have to be smiling to get it.

Someone even told the hubby once, when he was the boyfriend, right in front of me, that his girlfriend had a great smile.

I wouldn't venture to say that they were trying to get in my pants or anything. But I have been known to go bouncing into work or onto my blog or into conversations with my friends after something like that, gushing about how i got "hit on" at a random place by a random guy.

As long as they guy isn't stinky, filthy, grubby, psycho-looking or trying to back me against a wall in a dark alley, I will make every attempt to positively, and gratefully, accept the compliment. As I don't often see myself as having "great eyes" or a "nice smile" - I'm very self-critical - I have to learn to be gracious about that kind of thing or it *does* come off like I'm some kind of prissy bitch, you know?

So you can compliment me all you want. *bats eyes*'

Interestingly, my captcha is "cutie."

Honestly? I would probably look around to see what friends of his are standing off to the side giggling because they just put their friend up to complimenting the fugly chick. But, I've clearly got some issues. I'm fabulous at first-visit-to-your-blog comments, aren't I? LOL

I'm a straight guy and I usually only get compliments like that from gay guys. Beatiful eyes, nice smile stuff like that.

I would thank him and probably think it was a little odd but not in a "damn, this mall is full of freaks!" kinda way.

Of course if I were alone I probably would not be smiling anyway. I get a lot of people telling me to smile which is wierd.

I always smile, graciously say "thank you," and either walk away or continue conversation depending on the vibe I get.

I used to blush and protest, but an old friend (who compliments ppl a lot) taught me to just take a compliment graciously.

Then again, there's a couple reasons for this:

(1) I like to trust people.
(2) I give out compliments to random people if I like his/her clothes, hair, smile, whatever
(3) I have huge dimples, and I always get compliments about them.
(4) It's just nice to be gracious.

Seriously, tho, people don't always have an ulterior motive, and I try to trust that people will be sincere. My favorite compliment ever was an Irish security guard who complimented me, brogue and all, on my huge, smiling dimples

I've gotten my share of unsolicited compliments, and very rarely have I gotten the "want in my pants" vibe from the person who was giving them. Generally, it makes my day.

Also, I give unsolicited compliments all the time. Granted, the person I'm complimenting is usually at least a casual acquaintance, but once in awhile, not. Does that make me a nympho?

I smile and am flattered. But then, I live in Canada....

I would blush and smile and say "Thank You." then hope they weren't trying to sell me a timeshare condo or something. I don't think I've been hit on since, oh, 1998 or so. Or at least I haven't noticed it which is entirely possible.

The most memorable experience like this I've had was at the drug store about two years ago. I was walking up to the pharmacy to drop off prescriptions and this really old hispanic lady decked out in the full widow regalia came walking towards me saying, "beautiful, beautiful," I didn't know she was talking to me until she came straight up to me and said, "You look so beautiful!" I gushed a thank you and told her she was very sweet. It was a really nice feeling.

I've made a conscious effort to compliment people when something about them strikes me. And I can't think of one time when the person reacted badly but I usually move on pretty quickly too.

You can compliment me any day. And not just you, but any male...as long as you're polite and not crude about it. I've had many come up to me and compliment my hair...a lot more when it was longer, but I still get it. Sometimes even about my eyes or smile, but it's usually the hair. Anyhow...like others, those compliments totally make my day and usually have me feeling pretty damn good for a while. As long as a guy isn't invading my space, rude, or freaky stalky about it, I'm cool with it.

Now...if he was slurrin, or slobering, drooling, smirking..whatever...no go, I'll be "thanks", smiling, and walking away.

(one guy I dated for six months introduced himself by saying hi at a Denny's and commenting on my smile...ya never know!)

I usually smile and say thank you, then go about my business.

I get compliments on my eyes all the time, at first I thought it was a little weird and creepy and now it's like (insert blush here) "thanks!"

I've been getting more and more compliments when i'm out from complete strangers than I ever have in my whole entire life lately, and while it wigs me out..I guess "wigs" isn't the word...I'm more stunned than anything..because obviously people see things differently than I do when I look in a mirror...

Right, your question...I say thanks and usually move on..the guys that try and pick me up usually will have a follow-up question...I don't think every chick assumes that someone wants to get in her pants, at least I don't.

I'd probably thank him for complimenting my smile as long as he was actually in front of me at some point and not behind me the entire way LOL.

Of course, I'd probably be thinking he was on the make, cuz us girls are raised to believe all men want is sex anyway.

But I'd give him the benefit of the doubt anyway...I doubt he could miss my wedding and engagment rings for very long.

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