Hey Freak!

There are two lessons that everybody learns the hard way. I don't know anybody who's learned these in a book or by word of mouth - these are always, always learned by experience.

Lesson 1: You're not a kid anymore. You can't go out drinking five nights a week like you did in college. Sure, you laugh, but that first night when you realize this is true? Never a good night. And, the morning after pretty much sucks, too. Interestingly, it took more that two or three occurences like this before any actual learning happened.

Lesson 2: You're not a kid anymore? You can't eat all the same greasy, spicy, vile crap that you considered food when you were younger. Sure, you'll be able to ingest the "food," but you know what? The problems usually happen during the exit. I guess that's why this lesson in particular is difficult to learn - the adverse effects don't appear until long after the crap has been eaten, and sometimes, you'll fail to associate the two.

Speaking of tattoos (OK, I wasn't. Don't you hate when good segues totally elude you?), I wonder... yeah, I wonder this. I wonder if there's anybody in the world with a tattoo of their url. No, seriously. You just know there's gotta be somebody out there who does. I kinda want to find out who these people are. So I can make fun of them.

Oh, I wouldn't do that. Well, not for long, anyway. But, please... they at least desereve some ridicule, right? I always thought it was bad enough when people would get tattoos of their own names.

Come to think of it, people who get tattoos of branded items deserve some ridicule, too. Yes, I've actually seen people with Nike "swoosh" tattoos. I know I've see one or two "And One And 1" tats, too. Don't get me wrong - if you've got lifetime endorsements or whatever, I can understand the tat (I'd still think you were lame, but at least I'd understand). But, the people who buy the products and have permanent free advertising? Suckers.

OK, think back to 1999. What were you doing back then? Most of you are bloggers right now, right? Did you imagine back then that you'd ever have an online diary? And that people would visit it? I woulda thought you were crazy if you told me that I'd be an online diarist (later to be called a "blogger").

Well, really, I still think you're crazy.

Pshhh, except for those of us who WERE blogging in '99.

I'm so nerdy it hurts.

Also: totally saw a guy on Broadway with a computer's power button symbol tattoo last week.

I've seen people with "corporate" tatoos on their persons, and I've always thought that was the dumbest thing they've could've done. When I was in a fraternity (briefly, very briefly) there were a few guys who tattooed the letters on their ankle because... I dunno-- 'because'.

Funniest thing I think I've ever seen though-- a guy with a tattoo of the Nike swoosh logo on their ankle, and just below that, he was wearing Reebok branded socks and shoes.

What a jackass.

I'm still waiting for the day when I can't go out drinking many nights in a row... at 50 I know when to call it quits with the drink. At 20 I didn't (couldn't ?) say no when offered beer. While I don't party as late EVERY night (I'm up until 1 or 2 am each night and at work at 8am each morning) I can do one or two a week.

The food thing is big for me. I can't handly the greasy stuff any more. Pepperoni pizza is a killer to my system. I might as well be drinking motor oil with it.

i'm such a geek, i actually had a website back in '99, before they were called blogs. if i remember right, it was awesome with a black background and bright green text, a la The Matrix. i also talked to my roommate over IM, even though she was sitting right next to me.

"does that make me craaaaaaaaaaaazy... possibilyyyyyyyyyy"

I had a website back in 97 or 98. But mostly, it was a never updated, hideously ugly site that said who I was and what classes I was taking. But no blog or anything remotely resembling that until much, much later.

I actually do have a tatoo of my url.

I think the tatooing of frat letters is better than what I have seen at least once: Branding of greek letters. Ouch.

LOL geeky. I still talk to my wife on IM even when we're in the same house and sometimes in the same room.

By the way, one of the statements I just made was a lie.

How about that chick who got "GoldenPalace.com" tattooed on her forehead? Yeah, cause money lasts forever and all!

Yeah...you do feel like making fun of someone with a "product" tattoo, but if you see some guy with a Harley tattoo, don't.

I came a little late to this party. In 1999 I had never owned a computer. It was mid-1998 when I experienced the internet for the first time. If anyone had told me then that I would be using the hamster dance machine to earn college college credits and tell people about my tampon shredding dog, I wouldn't have believed them.

One of the guys on Dog the Bounty Hunter has a Michael Jordan tattoo. You know, one of those "jumpman" silhouettes? Like this.

what's 'and one'???

And One makes basketball stuff.

You ever hear the commentators say "Jordan gets the basket and one"? It means he was fouled in the act of shooting, which would normally mean he gets two free throws. But, if he makes the basket while he's fouled, he'll get two points and one free throw. Hence, "and one."

Basically, the attitude is, "You can't stop me, even if you foul me."

Oh, and Vince? Good point. Someone with a Tommy Hilfiger tat? Definitely worthy of ridicule.

Someone with a Harley tat? Yeah, don't fuck with that dude.

Oh, and the worst product tattoo I've ever seen was of the Noid. Remember the Avoid the Noid commercials for on of the pizza places? Neither does anyone else. I wonder if he has had it covered since.

Mikey...back in 1999, I was hanging out with you and the "Beav".

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