Hey Freak!

OK. Paper cuts. What's the worst place (on the body) to get one? What's the worst place you've had one?

Me?

Worst place so far... on the inside of my right index finger, first joint up, opposite the knuckle. You know, right at that place where bending constantly occurs, just to make sure that it takes an extra long time to heal. And yes, I'm right handed.

OK, so I was trying to remember all the really stupid childhood taunts we used to say as kids. No shit, Sherlock. No doy. Sit and spin (it's an insult... kinda like "Sit on it, Potsy!"). I know you are, but what am I? Dillhole/dillweed. Whatever, Stu (Stu was short for Mr. Stu Pidass). Up your nose with a rubber hose. (OK, maybe I got that one from the sweathogs)

Damn. I had a billion of these in my head just a second ago, but no, as soon as I try to blog this, *poof* they're all gone. Execpt for "no doy." That ever happen to you? You're trying to think of something, and then something else, but you can't get the first something out of your head, so therefore, you'll never think of something else? I hate that. Damned no doy.

Anyway.

Help me out, here. What were some of the stupid childhood taunts you used to use?

update: Remember this? "Smooth move, Ex-Lax!"

another update: One of my all-time faves: "Face!"

OK, have you heard about this new supplement Cholest-Off? You take it, you burn the bad cholesterol, yadda yadda yadda. I'm sure it's a great product.

But what I'm most concerned with, is...

Well...

I make no secret that I do a lot of silly things. Things that defy logic. Nothing major, but still... Spock wouldn't approve of these things.

For example...

If I'm on vacation... say I'm in Vegas. I'm in my hotel room, getting ready to go out. Before I walk out the door, I make the requisite check of all things needed (this gets done anytime I head out the door, whether I'm at home, work, whatever). Wallet? Check. Phone? Check. Keys?

Wait, what do I need my keys for? I won't be driving. I'm nowhere near home. Why do I need to have my keys? Yeah, I don't know, either, but I'll still take 'em with me. Mostly because, if I don't, I'll be checking my pockets the entire night, thinking "OH SHIT WHERE ARE MY KEYS?!?!?"

Or, this one. I talked to some people about this yesterday, so I know I'm not the only person who does this. OK, you know that Cheap Trick song "The Flame"? Wherever you go, I'll be with you. Whatever you do, I'll be with you... GAH. *hurl* I hate hate hate that song.

That said, it's on my iPod. And it comes up every once in a while. And I make sure to skip it the second it comes on.

The question is... why don't I just delete it? Why bother with leaving it on and skipping it every time? Honestly... I just don't know. I really should delete it, but... I just haven't gotten around to it. I mean, really... do you folks have songs on your [media player] that you leave on there, despite the fact that you don't like the song, and that you make sure to skip that fucker ASAP whenever it comes on? No? OK, then it's just me.

Hey, don't laugh. I'm not the only person who does silly things like that. I know Michele, when she's driving in parking garages, will "duck" when she drives under beams. As if the beam can penetrate the roof of her car, and is gonna smack her in the forehead. (I only remember that she does this because... I do it too)

Oh! One more. I like to tempt fate, but just a little. [warning: huge run-on sentence ahead] You see, I have this kinda "phobia" that, when I'm walking along outside, in like, a parking lot or something, and I walk near a grate, I totally fear accidentally dropping my car keys down the grate, and then having to find someone to open the sewer so I can go down there and look for them. Because, that'd really suck, yanno?

Now, given that I have this "phobia," you'd think that I'd avoid walking near grates. And you'd think that I'd leave my keys in my pocket, to make sure I don't lose my grip on them and drop them. But no. I seriously will have my keys in my hand, and will walk within dropping range, or even over grates that I see.

Get it? Tempting fate. I don't know why I do that, but I do it. Almost sub-consciously.

Got anything really silly that you do that you'd like to confess? Please do.

Because... well, I don't want to be the only dumbass around here.

Online, you can tell a lot about someone's personality. A lot of times, people will post pictures of their face so you can see what they look like.

But one thing you can't really tell, and you don't hear a lot of people asking...

How tall are you?

Me? I'm pretty short for a dude. 5'6", to be exact. A lot of people already know that, but I'm sure there will be some people who are surprised by that. Or, didn't even think about it. That's why I'm curious - I usually don't think about it, either. Well, until now.

So. How tall are you?

Just a reminder - Blogathon 2006 is this weekend, so we're coming up on your last chance to sponsor Stale Betty and the Mil Wives (really, that sounds like a band name. When do y'all go on tour?). Or, if that's not your thing, there will be people blogging for many different charities.

I guess this would also be a good time to remind people that, even if you can't give money, you can do other things (and I don't mean just for the blogathon charities). You can donate time. You can donate blood. And really, how many of us have at least a garbage bag full of old clothes that we'll probably never wear? You know, the clothes that you might might might wear if you have nothing else clean. Throw 'em all in a bag and donate (or sell) those.

Everybody can do a little something for someone else, and every little bit helps. So... what's stopping you?

What do you think about unicorns?

Seriously. I want to know.

What, you don't think unicorns exist? Well, shoot. Maybe these people believe.

Hey, look! A unicorn!