Hey Freak!

OK, we've done the bar jokes. Let's try our hand at... Grosser than Gross jokes. Yes, I feel like I'm 12 again.

Q: What's grosser than gross?

A: Sitting on the bottom floor of a two-story outhouse.

Who the hell would make a two-story outhouse, anyways? That sounds like something out of Dilbert... where the top floor is the CEO's bathroom, and the bottom floor is where the rest of us sit. But, I digress.

Q: What's grosser than gross?

A: Drinking a Bloody Mary and finding a pube.

You turn. Leave your favorite/least favorite Grosser than Gross jokes. We could all use a laugh, even if it makes us sick.

(via Three Things)

Why is pot illegal, anyway? No, seriously... why?

OK, so. Shit, I dunno how to start this.

I know. Go read this post (note: that post has since been edited). I don't know this guy, and I've never heard of him before today (just stumbled on his blog). I have nothing against him at all.

Did you read it? Just out of curiousity, what kind of "vibe" did you get?

I'm asking because... well, sometimes, I tend to get a little over-sensitive when it comes to race and general discrimination issues. The fact that I'm a minority really brings this out in me. And when I read that post, I felt an all-too-familiar twinge.

So, we all know that racism is bad. Period. We can all agree on that, right?

Well, there are a lot of people who don't think that they're racists or bigots, but they totally are. You know, like Trent Lott. They always say the same shit... "I have black friends," blah blah blah, but behind closed doors, they're all nigger this and spearchucker that. Do you know what I mean? They're basically "closeted" bigots.

That's how I perceive this guy. Maybe he's just really full of himself or something, but his language, his context... it all tells me that he's one of those aforementioned closeted bigots. Obviously, I could be wrong. I'm just telling you the vibe I got.

Now, don't go and berate this guy or leave nasty comments on his blog - that's not my goal. He's got a right to his opinions just like anyone else. I'm just trying to figure out if I am truly over-sensitive to shit like this. And if I'm right, well then, maybe I'll make it easier for everybody else to spot closeted bigots, so that we can avoid them, or at the very least, disregard their bullshit. Or confront them on it. Bring their hatred out of the closet and into full public view. That kinda stuff.

So, be honest. Am I reading too much into what he's saying, or do I have a valid point? All opinions are welcome.

Well, unless you're a Celine Dion fan. Man, she's gross.

OK, by now, everybody's heard that Britney Spears is pregnant. And if you haven't heard, well, that's perfect for this. It's a multiple choice question:

"When I first heard that Britney was pregnant, the first thing I thought was..."

A) How great for them! I'm sure their child will be adorable.
B) I wonder if she was already pregnant when they got married...
C) I wonder who the father is?
D) Well, that explains her chunkiness lately.
E) There goes her career.
F) Just what the world needs... more white trash.

or

G) Who?

OK. Say you're out at like, the mall. By yourself. You're dressed casually - you're not wearing your nice clothes, but you don't look like a slob, either. Say, like, jeans and a t-shirt. Something simple.

So, you're looking around, minding your own business, and a man walks up to you. A stranger. He's dressed casually, like you. He's not ugly, but he's no Brad Pitt. Just your normal, everyday guy. He tells you "I'm sorry to bother you, but I have to tell you... I think you have a beautiful smile."

What's your reaction? Thank him for the compliment? Thank him, but think "Damn, this mall's full of freaks!"? Get defensive?

I'm just curious because I think that it's virtually impossible for a guy to give a girl a compliment. I'm talking about a very sincere but straightforward compliment. One with no ulterior motives behind it. Seriously. Like, I'll be out in public, and I'll like, be behind someone in line who's got nice hair, or nice shoes, or a nice smile, or... whatever. And my first reaction is to say "Hey, nice [whatever]." But I know I can't do that, because she'll probably think I'm a freak. Or that I'm trying to get in her pants. Or, just who in the fuck do I think I am, anyway? Yeah, I'd like to avoid that, so I don't say anything.

It's really kinda sad. I mean, you'd think that people would love getting unsolicited compliments, right?

This is very important stuff.

Restaurant-wise, who's got the best chips? Who's got the best salsa?

Who's got the best chips n salsa experience?

Me? Well, as far as national chains are concerned, I think On the Border has the best chips. They're light, and they're nice and salty. Best salsa? That's local. Sombrero's Mexican food - a mix of the hot and mild makes a great hotter-than-just-medium salsa.

But hey. I'm open to other chips n salsa places (well, Mexican food restaurants). If I recall, Garcia's (Scottsdale) was pretty good, too. But there's gotta be more great salsa places... so, let's hear your favorites!