Hey Freak!

I really love life's little victories. Some people don't even notice them because they're too busy or whatever, but I couldn't live without them.

Of what victories do I speak?

Here's one... when you go to a crowded grocery store during peak time, and there's an open spot for you, right next to the front door. This place is always crowded, and you're always having to park a mile away, but today? You're the man. You park up front.

Another one... this one happens in rush hour traffic. You know how, when you're sitting in traffic, your lane is always the one that moves the slowest? The lane to the left? Cruising along. The lane to the right? They're moving too. Switching lanes is the only way to get your lane moving, but by that time, you've already switched lanes, and now you're stopped again. Talk about frustrating. But. On some rare occasions, you're in that left lane, moving, and sometimes, you can time all your lane switches juuuust right, and you move the entire time. Everybody's had this at least once, right? Tell me you didn't go "Fuck yeah, I fucking RULE!" when that happened.

These little victories can be really little, too. But still satisfying. Like, when you're fast forwarding past the commercials on your DVR, and you hit play, and you get it "perfect" - that nanosecond between the last commercial and the return of (whatever show you were watching). I love that.

Little victories like this happen all the time, but I think we take them for granted. We think that they're kind of silly, so we don't tell anyone about them, lest they think we're simpletons or something like that. While we definitely don't want people to think of us like that, it's also very hard to not exclaim joy when you, say, "shoot" a piece of trash into the wastebasket that's way on the other side of the room.

But not today.

Today, I want you to tell me your most recent little victory. Today, I want you to exclaim joy over the most inane things. Even if it's something as small as "I went to the laundry room to take my clothes out of the dryer, and I got there just as it finished. No having to come back, and no waiting. Done right now. And I love the smell and feel of a load full of freshly-done, dryer warmed clothes." Because there's probably more people who love that than you think.

And face it. We love to brag. Even about the little things. And just for fun, if you comment, start your comment with something like "Dude, I so totally rule." Or maybe "I'm da bomb," or "I'm the cat's pajamas." Something. Anything. Praise yourself. Again, it sounds silly, but once you type it out, and then read it to yourself, you'll probably think "You know what? I do fucking rule." You may not be king of the world, but at least for today, you're the king of parking. Or traffic. Or remote controls.

So let's hear your stories...

Today, I'm gonna put just a little twist on the "If you had to choose between being blind or deaf, which would you choose?" line of questioning...

You see, I've heard that question a million times. It's a good question, in that it makes you really consider the little things that we take for granted most of the time. I don't think I could live without music, and I don't think I could live without seeing. My answer? I wouldn't want to choose. If I had to, I'd flip a coin or something. Nobody wants to give up a sense.

Or, do they? Ponder these for a moment...

The last time I bought gas before today, it cost me $2.79.9 a gallon. Pretty damned high, don't you think? That was probably five days ago or so. At the most, it was a week ago.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I went to get gas today, and I had to pay $3.11.9 a gallon.

Now, the station I was at is notorious for having prices that are a little but still noticeably higher than most other places. So I looked at the prices at the station by our apartment, which usually has about average gas prices. There, it was $3.09.9 a gallon. Not a big difference at all.

I should note now that these aren't "premium" prices. These are the "regular" unleaded (87 octane) prices.

Did I miss something? When did gas prices decide to jump? And how come nobody's making an issue of it? I certainly haven't seen anything in the newspapers...

Don't get me wrong. I'm not shocked that gas is over three dollars a gallon... I'm just shocked that more people aren't pissed.

Let's do this again... how much is gas where you live?

Just out of curiousity, who out there has seen the highest gas prices?

The place where I go to was $2.91.9 a gallon, but that was yesterday morning. It might have gone up since then. There's another place by my house that's $3.07.9 a gallon. I haven't really looked anywhere else, but these stations are usually about the average for what I can find (not counting small mom n pop places, like Bob's Gas or whatever). And now I heard on the radio that in some places, gas will cost over $4 a gallon... next week...?!?!?

So. Let's find out what everybody's paying. Tell me where you're from, and how much gas is.

Update: I heard that some places in Atlanta, GA are charging more that $6.00 a gallon. Talk about looting...

Joelle and I decided to do a little experiment. A TV watching experiment. Everybody's invited to participate. It'll be easy, trust me.

Here it is:

I'm making this a sticky entry.

I have something to ask of all U.S. residents: take a picture of a deer crossing sign in your state and send it to me (or post it on Flickr and give me the link). Oh yeah, and don't forget to tell me where (in which state) you took the picture. WI people especially - I need a picture of your deer crossing signs. Chicago people? Next time you're up there, like at the Dells or something, find a deer crossing sign and take a picture, please. And yanno, while you're up there, you may as well take a picture of the "Bong Recreation Area" sign, too. Just because, well... it's funny.

Here's an example of a "normal" deer crossing sign, as we're all used to seeing: [here]. WI signs look different (well, at least they used to).

A-HA! There is least one other blogger who's noticed that WI deer crossing signs are different [read post]. See? I'm not crazy. But, we still need a sign as proof.

And yanno what? I think a lot of people are having fun with this, so... what the hell... let's make a collection of any kind of crossing sign that's funny. Bear crossing. Deer crossing. Illegal immigrant crossing. And not just crossing signs. Falling rock signs are usually pretty funny. We'll get a collection together, and I'll make a bigass post, and we'll all have a bunch of laughs.

Is it just me, or does everybody see random public nudity every once in a while? Let's see, in the past coupla years, I've stumbled upon a nude photo shoot in the park (at the Presidio), and I've seen people posing nude by the "Welcome to Nevada" sign on the way to Vegas.

Yesterday? I was downtown with my brother. He parked on the street, and I got out of his car, and the first thing I saw when I turned around was this lady pulling up her pants. Not just a little... they were down past her knees. I saw full naked strange lady ass. I tried to get a picture of the front, but... well, I didn't wanna get caught taking pictures, for one (another reason - whoa, not that pretty).

Anyways, we were trying to figure out what she was doing with her pants down. My brother said that he saw a wet spot, so we figured that she just peed there (as if peeing on a streetcorner in the middle of the day is normal). But then again, she was begging for money from everybody who walked by, and there were two other guys there with her (out of frame), so maybe she was selling peeks at her cat. I dunno.

Does this kinda stuff happen to anyone else? Like, maybe you've seen some road head or something?

Now, I never thought of myself as much of a conspiracy theorist... I'll leave that up to Mr. Fin (he occasionally blogs at Mouthfart, along with his wife, Ace).

But, yanno? I kinda wonder about some things... do you?

Like...

Do you think that the technology for more fuel-efficient cars is out there, but it's being quieted by the big automakers?

Do you think that technology exists to make non-fossil fuel vehicles? (hydrogen powered cars)

Do you think that there's a cure for cancer, but the drug companies aren't releasing it, because they're making too much money on "treatment"? (treating a problem for the rest of someone's life pays a lot better than just solving the problem, no?)

Do you think the government knows more than it's told us regarding extra-terrestrials?

What do you guys think? Could any of those things be true?

The reason I'm asking is because, well... have you heard of Mexoryl SX? It's an ingredient found in European and Canadian sunscreens, and it's supposedly by far better than any sunscreen in the US. So why isn't it sold here? Well, apparently, it hasn't been approved by the FDA. FDA approval could take years. But then again, this product has been out for years in Europe. So why are we so slow to get on the bandwagon?

Because there's money to be made in skin cancer.

But then again, you'd only think that if you were a conspiracy theorist, right? So, are you?

Do you believe?

OK, we've done the bar jokes. Let's try our hand at... Grosser than Gross jokes. Yes, I feel like I'm 12 again.

Q: What's grosser than gross?

A: Sitting on the bottom floor of a two-story outhouse.

Who the hell would make a two-story outhouse, anyways? That sounds like something out of Dilbert... where the top floor is the CEO's bathroom, and the bottom floor is where the rest of us sit. But, I digress.

Q: What's grosser than gross?

A: Drinking a Bloody Mary and finding a pube.

You turn. Leave your favorite/least favorite Grosser than Gross jokes. We could all use a laugh, even if it makes us sick.

(via Three Things)

Why is pot illegal, anyway? No, seriously... why?

OK, so. Shit, I dunno how to start this.

I know. Go read this post (note: that post has since been edited). I don't know this guy, and I've never heard of him before today (just stumbled on his blog). I have nothing against him at all.

Did you read it? Just out of curiousity, what kind of "vibe" did you get?

I'm asking because... well, sometimes, I tend to get a little over-sensitive when it comes to race and general discrimination issues. The fact that I'm a minority really brings this out in me. And when I read that post, I felt an all-too-familiar twinge.

So, we all know that racism is bad. Period. We can all agree on that, right?

Well, there are a lot of people who don't think that they're racists or bigots, but they totally are. You know, like Trent Lott. They always say the same shit... "I have black friends," blah blah blah, but behind closed doors, they're all nigger this and spearchucker that. Do you know what I mean? They're basically "closeted" bigots.

That's how I perceive this guy. Maybe he's just really full of himself or something, but his language, his context... it all tells me that he's one of those aforementioned closeted bigots. Obviously, I could be wrong. I'm just telling you the vibe I got.

Now, don't go and berate this guy or leave nasty comments on his blog - that's not my goal. He's got a right to his opinions just like anyone else. I'm just trying to figure out if I am truly over-sensitive to shit like this. And if I'm right, well then, maybe I'll make it easier for everybody else to spot closeted bigots, so that we can avoid them, or at the very least, disregard their bullshit. Or confront them on it. Bring their hatred out of the closet and into full public view. That kinda stuff.

So, be honest. Am I reading too much into what he's saying, or do I have a valid point? All opinions are welcome.

Well, unless you're a Celine Dion fan. Man, she's gross.

OK, by now, everybody's heard that Britney Spears is pregnant. And if you haven't heard, well, that's perfect for this. It's a multiple choice question:

"When I first heard that Britney was pregnant, the first thing I thought was..."

A) How great for them! I'm sure their child will be adorable.
B) I wonder if she was already pregnant when they got married...
C) I wonder who the father is?
D) Well, that explains her chunkiness lately.
E) There goes her career.
F) Just what the world needs... more white trash.

or

G) Who?

OK. Say you're out at like, the mall. By yourself. You're dressed casually - you're not wearing your nice clothes, but you don't look like a slob, either. Say, like, jeans and a t-shirt. Something simple.

So, you're looking around, minding your own business, and a man walks up to you. A stranger. He's dressed casually, like you. He's not ugly, but he's no Brad Pitt. Just your normal, everyday guy. He tells you "I'm sorry to bother you, but I have to tell you... I think you have a beautiful smile."

What's your reaction? Thank him for the compliment? Thank him, but think "Damn, this mall's full of freaks!"? Get defensive?

I'm just curious because I think that it's virtually impossible for a guy to give a girl a compliment. I'm talking about a very sincere but straightforward compliment. One with no ulterior motives behind it. Seriously. Like, I'll be out in public, and I'll like, be behind someone in line who's got nice hair, or nice shoes, or a nice smile, or... whatever. And my first reaction is to say "Hey, nice [whatever]." But I know I can't do that, because she'll probably think I'm a freak. Or that I'm trying to get in her pants. Or, just who in the fuck do I think I am, anyway? Yeah, I'd like to avoid that, so I don't say anything.

It's really kinda sad. I mean, you'd think that people would love getting unsolicited compliments, right?

This is very important stuff.

Restaurant-wise, who's got the best chips? Who's got the best salsa?

Who's got the best chips n salsa experience?

Me? Well, as far as national chains are concerned, I think On the Border has the best chips. They're light, and they're nice and salty. Best salsa? That's local. Sombrero's Mexican food - a mix of the hot and mild makes a great hotter-than-just-medium salsa.

But hey. I'm open to other chips n salsa places (well, Mexican food restaurants). If I recall, Garcia's (Scottsdale) was pretty good, too. But there's gotta be more great salsa places... so, let's hear your favorites!