Hey Freak!

OK, if tampons/pads are really as absorbent as they claim to be, why don't make paper towels out of the stuff?

Hell, it'd kick Brawny's ass.

I'm a Leo. A lion. I'm sure glad I'm not a Cancer. 1) Cancer is like, not something you want. 2) Cancer is a crab. Again, not something you want.

I used to love the Three Stooges. I thought they were hilarious. And then I turned 6.

Yanno, with the popularization of adult dodgeball (no, not "adult" dodgeball... just, dodgeball for older folks), I'm surprised that Adult Duck Duck Goose hasn't caught on.

Of course, that sounds really porn-ish.

Speaking of porn, Corina Taylor (work safe!) emailed me to tell me that she just got her boobs done. Sorry, I left the picture at home.

Anything else? Nah. I need a nap.

Alternate title: I was half asleep on the way to work, and I thought of some weird shit.

King Kong vs. Godzilla: Now, I love me some Godzilla, but he's a dumbass. (if you haven't seen the movie, I'm about to give away the ending) How in the fuck does he lose that fight? He's got radioactive breath! Dude, just kick back and scorch the big ape. Duh!

Betty Boop: I know she's an "icon" and all, but she's always creeped me out. I mean, her head is shaped like a loaf of bread! For my money, the hottest cartoon girl is Ariel from The Little Mermaid.

Jessica Rabbit: they're fake. They've gotta be.

9: Remember my rant about 8s? How people who make two circles (as opposed to one continuous line) are freaks? Well. You're an even bigger freak if you write 9s exactly how you'd make an upside-down 6. You know. Doing the loop clockwise, and then going right into the tail, as opposed to the "right" way, where you make the loop (counter-clockwise), then switch directions for the tail. I know 9 is supposed to look like an upside-down 6, but I think it's weird lookin when people write it that way.

I like... cooked.... HAM and I cannot lie...

Is it 4:30 yet?

OK, I finally changed the freakin songs I have available for DL.

One of the new ones I have up is a quick little 10 minute sample mix by DJ Markski, which I sometimes listen to whilst doing cardio. The other is the classic "True" by Spandau Ballet. Why that? Hm. I dunno. I can say, though, that it always reminds me of Jennifer/Ghennifer Dennis (she changed her name in the middle of me knowing her), who was my first girlfriend way back in 8th grade. At least I think she was my girlfriend. Hm, now that I think about it, I don't remember ever kissing her. Holding hands, yes... kissing, no. I think we were "going together", but ya'd think I'd remember if we kissed... hell, I wonder if she knew we were going together? Hell, maybe she thought we were just friends... Watch, she'll do an ego google and find this page, and she'll think I'm some sort of stalker. Great.

Hey, maybe that's why she changed her name...?

Seriously, Ghennifer, if you're reading this, feel free to write me and poke fun at me, or whatever. I'm still harmless. Really. Just ask, well... everyone.

Well, since I'm bringing up the past... I wonder what Jodi Haywood is doing...? She was my very very very first kiss (no tongue), way back in 2nd grade at Ocean View Elementary School. Yes, she was a blonde. See? I've always liked blondes.

Oh, back to what I was doing... what was I doing? Eh, probably nothing important. As usual.