Hey Freak!

OK, so I was surfing the news, and I saw a story about how the Mayor of San Francisco is taking some heat for letting his 20 year old girlfriend drink (a glass of champagne)... and I thought "The Mayor of San Fran is dating a 20 year old? How old is he? What's going on here?"

So, I read the story.

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's new squeeze, Brittanie Mountz, just turned 20 last month -- and that raises a couple of questions about the couple's nights on the town.

The biggest question is whether Mountz has been drinking, and it's been swirling since the pair made their first public appearance and walked down the red carpet together at the San Francisco Symphony in September. [full story]

So, this is what I think... the Mayor of San Francisco is perfectly within his...

Hey, wait a minute.

What was her name again?

I just read today that Tower Records is closing.

I'm gonna be sad to see Tower go. Sure, a lot of their CD's were pretty expensive, but you could always count on Tower to find those really hard-to-find CD's. Plus, all the cool extras they sold. Movie memorabilia. Action figures. DVDs and magazines. It's like a "cool stuff" general store.

And they're going out of business.

And it's no big surprise. Hell, with the advent of online music store, combined with the fact that more and more people have faster and faster connections? Yeah, that pretty much spells doom for a retailer. (Hello, Sam Goody!) But it shouldn't. With all of the extra stuff Tower sells, it shouldn't.

Or, maybe it should anyway, but my fondness for Tower Records blinds me to that reality. Don't get me wrong - it's not like I went there all the time. But it was always nice to know that if you needed it, it was there. Even if I didn't have anything in particular I was looking for, I'd still go to Tower once in a while, just to look around. Sure, I could surf the 'net much faster, but really... there's something to be said about the joys of... flipping through CD's, then remembering one that you always forget to look for, and actually finding it. There's something to be said for perusing. I'm gonna miss that.

I guess that's "progress."

There's something to be said for old skool. R.I.P., Tower Records.

Good morning!

Let's get right down to it... here are the answers to last week's music quiz:

I don't know what's more disgusting. The thought of Screech in a threesome, or Paula Froelich. One thing's for sure, though... they both involve smear-y shit.

So, get this. Keith Olbermann, host of MSNBC's "Countdown," and one of the only sane voices left in the mainstream media, received a letter containing white powder. Anthrax? Baking Soda? It turned out to be just soap powder, but either way, if I were him, it might shake me up a bit, too. I mean, with the attached threatening letter an all.

And what's the media take on this?

Paula actually makes fun of him.

I mean, seriously. Sending Anthrax to someone in the mail is a terrorist act. Sending fake Anthrax is a terrorist act. Sending threatening letters is a violation of federal law. Ha ha! That sure is funny, right Paula? [More at Crooks and Liars]

I wonder if she'd laugh if she got a similar letter...

No, I'm not saying that anyone should send her a similar letter. No, I'm not saying that I'll send her a similar letter. I'm just wondering what would happen if the shoe was on the other foot.

Update: Keith talks about it on his show. Oh yeah, and by the way, Paula reported on this story, despite the fact that the FBI had asked that details not be reported on. Nice.

OK, so I was reading news online, and I saw a story about Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas exposing a little too much on MTV's TRL. I figured it was something stupid like "Omigod, she leaned forward and almost showed one of her nipples" or something ludicrous like that. Or maybe her nipples were just poking through her shirt. Something really really lame like that.

Boy, was I wrong.

It's lamer.

Here's the picture. Like, omigod, you can totally see... her bra!

Fucking lock her up for 10 years already. Can you imagine the damage she's already inflicted by... exposing her bra? A flesh colored bra, even! Think of the children!

I really can't wait for the day until all women are forced to have mastectomies so that I'll never have to see something as offensive as a boob, or, god forbid, a nipple (gasp!) on TV again! Boobs and nipples are terrible things, and they must be stopped in our lifetime, before they kill somebody.

Man, people are freaking stupid. I mean, seriously.

OK, we've all seen fans with signs proclaiming [whatever celebrity] for President. Michael Jordan for President. Tiger Woods for President. It's all very tongue-in-cheek.

Well, apparently, there's a push for... Oprah for President. It's being led by "her biggest fan," Patrick Crowe. I think this is the site he's made. (How's that basic html class going, Patrick? Where's the weather pixie?) And, sadly, he's absolutely serious about it.

The only problem? Oprah doesn't want to be President. In fact, she's so vehemently opposed to the idea that she's asked Crowe to halt production on the project and website, and has threatened him with legal action (she doesn't want this to damage her reputation). I can totally understand that. If I were her, I wouldn't want to be President, either.

Now, I'm not a big fan of Oprah, by any stretch of the imagination. Her big "road trip" with Joyce? Seriously, that's like, Oprah's version of "The Simple Life." Like, God forbid that she shop at "The Albertson's" or that she pump gas. But yanno, that's her thing.

But people need to lay the fuck off her for this Presidency thing. That article I linked above - did you read some of the comments there?

"African-American, female, lesbian. She makes Gore look like a viable candidate..."

"Come on, Oprah. I love ya, gal; but honestly. Do you really think you're that important and all that?"

"Glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is THE most ridiculous idea ever. I like Oprah, but she should stick with what she knows."

"are you fucking kidding me?
the last thing this country needs is that hypocrite running for office. and in these times, that's really saying something."

"I can't even imagine Oprah as a ceo of a company, let alone the ceo of our country."

"Nothing more dangerous than a homegirl with some cash."

And so on.

Listen, you dumbshits. She doesn't want the Presidency. What the fuck are you ripping on her for? Did you even read the fucking article? Some other dude started that shit. She's threatening legal action against him. What makes you think that she wants the Presidency?

Geezus, I'm writing on my blog to defend Oprah.

Again, let me say... I'm not a big Oprah fan. But damn, people. Let's be fair. If you're gonna trash her for something, trash her for something she's actually guilty of. Don't trash her for something she didn't start, and over which she's got no control.

And then there's that last quote from Crowe...

"If Oprah asked you to run for president, would that be a compliment or would you threaten her with legal action?"

I'd take it as a compliment, but would respectfully decline. And if she kept pushing it, I'd sue. I wouldn't want people talking that trash (above) about me, especially, especially when it's something so undeserved, for something I don't want.

I swear, some people need to just get a fucking clue.

Hey, Mr. U.S. Air Force secretary. I hear you've got some new weapons. How do you plan to test them?

"Oh, I say we just test them on American citizens."

Good idea. Test the weapons you'd like to use on enemies on the very people you're trying to protect from those enemies. That makes a lot of sense. Especially from a public relations standpoint.

I mean, so what if there's a pesky law that entitles citizens to gather in protest... you've got a job to test all weapons. We've got to move as fast as we can in this war on terror. We've got to show the American people that, in order to keep them safe, we have to attack them.

But don't worry. It's non-lethal.

(As far as we know)

Bush to mark hurricane anniversary. How nice.

Hurricane Katrina lashed President Bush's image as a take-charge commander in chief when it battered and deluged the Gulf Coast. Ever since, the president has sought to overcome the political damage done when he appeared initially aloof from the suffering and oversaw a balky federal response.

Exactly. Read that again: "Ever since, the president has sought to overcome political damage done when he appeared initially aloof from the suffering..."

Because, of course, "overcoming political damage" is much more important than, I dunno... trying to insure that Katrina victims actually get help?

Please note: I'm not blaming him for Katrina. The hurricane would have hit regardless. What I think he should answer to is the fact that he stayed on vacation for three extra days after Katrina hit, and two days after the levees broke before he could even be bothered to acknowledge the fact that New Orleans was flooded and that people were dying (the acknowledgement? A flyover). There was no sense of urgency on his part to rescue the thousands that were still trapped in the Superdome and the Civic Center. [timeline]

But hey. He's there now. Happy Anniversary, President Bush. You're doing a heckuva job.

Jeff Probst has explained that Segregated Survivor is a "social experiment". That's nice.

What's also nice to see is that a school bus driver in LA has taken it upon herself to conduct her own "social experiment." She's ordered that black students sit at the back of the bus.

I'm not gonna make any rash judgements. I just want to see how this "social experiment" pans out.

File under: news that's not news.

He read a book.

For a second here, let's ignore the fact that he's on vacation when there are tensions in the Middle East that need to be quelled (sure, I don't think his being there would solve any problems, but I'm sorry, it just looks bad if you go on vacation while major shit is happening. You know, that'd kinda be like staying on vacation while one of America's great cities flooded, and not doing anything about it for days while Americans were stuck there, dying). Let's also ignore the fact that the book in question was only 150 pages or so, and that most people who have taken any sort of literature class have read it. I read it. I did a book critique on it. Why that book? Because it was short. I hate reading, remember?

Side story: Ms. Shaddy was my english teacher in high school. Man, I hated her. She made me bust my ass, and was always on me to do more, more, more. So, one time, when it was time to choose a book for a book critique, I chose the Dickens novel "David Copperfield." For someone who really doesn't like to read in the first place, let me tell you... that is one boring motherfucking book. But, it was Ms. Shaddy's favorite, and I wanted to impress her. I think I got a C on that one. All that reading for a freakin' C.

In hindsight, I see now that she was just pushing me to reach my potential, and I realized that I didn't really hate her. And yanno, now that I think about it, I have more good memories of her than bad. I remember doing a speech about Journey (hey, this was just little bit after "Escape" came out). I remember when Willie Nelson came to town (for a concert), and she wore her concert tee in to work with long braids. Damn, I have a billion good memories of that woman, and not a single specific bad one. It's kinda funny when you look back at things and realize what was really going on in high school.

But, I digress.

So, he read a book. By Camus, even (no, it wasn't "My Pet Goat"). Are we supposed to think he's intelligent now? Note to Bush handlers: teaching him the proper pronounciation of "nuclear" will go a long way in making him not seem so dumb. Definitely more than saying he read a book.

But, my point is... this is not news.

You want to report this? Put it in the gossip section.

Good evening. Normally, I'd be posting the answers to Match Game right now, but my entire hard drive was wiped by my computer's recovery utility. Funny, I thought "recovery" implied saving all of the data on my hard drive. Apparently not. All my contact information, links, email, and yes, even my AVN 2006 pictures?

All.

Fucking.

Gone.

Hewlett Packard sucks.

HP support? That's an oxymoron. And honestly? I had a very difficult time trying to understand the support people, because of their thick accents. I mean, really thick.

But back to the point. The HP recovery console is a fucking joke. I thought it would just go back to the last know working system configuration. You know, just like it told me it would. I believed it. I believed it when the dialog box that said "Please wait while windows is being fixed" or whatever the fuck it said (I definitely remember "fixed" in there, though. Not "windows is being re-installed" or anything like that. Fixed.) Apparently, the definition of "fixing" needs to be amended to include "destroying all the shit that you're trying to save in the first fucking place."

Hewlett Packard sucks.

And you know what I really hate? Well, remember back in the days when you'd buy a computer and get a copy of the OS on a CD with the computer? No more. Instead, HP forces you to use their recovery console. The recovery console that overwrites all your shit, and re-installs all that "sign up for AOL!" and "use Quicken 2003!" crap (not to mention about a billion really stupid online video games). Why can't I get just a CD of the OS? I paid for the computer. I paid for the fuckin' OS. It's almost as bad as fucking iTunes charging a dollar for a song that you find later will only work on the computer you downloaded it onto. Fucking rip off.

Rather than posting happy music (all of that is gone) and giving Match Game answers (fuck, I have to set up all my email shit in Tbird again), I'll be busy re-installing everything. Well, more than that, un-installing all the extraneous crap that the HP recovery utility put on.

Let me sum up.

Hewlett Packard sucks. If you're looking to buy anything computer related, don't buy anything from HP. Their products are sub-standard, and their support is virtually non-existant. They don't provide consumers anything that they can help themselves with - they want you to call support or their technicians... who, of course, will be happy to help you for a fee. What a rip. That'd be like buying a car that doesn't allow you to change your own oil or make your own repairs.

Hewlett Packard sucks.

Fuck you, HP. Fuck you.

Dogs don't moo. They bark.

What can we conclude from this? It's totally obvious, people. Dogs don't moo, thusly, people aren't born gay.

This is the kind of "wisdom" you'll find at no-moo-lies.com.

Makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? Almost as much sense as... saying that research on embryonic stem cells is murder, but throwing them in the garbage is OK.

Remember Kyle MacDonald? He's the guy who tried to use Craigslist to trade one red paper clip for better and better things, with a house as his ultimate prize.

He did it. He actually did it.

Sure, he'll have to live in the tiny town of Kipling, Saskatchewan in Canada (population: 1,140). But hey, at least he won't have to worry about rent. In case you're curious, it's an 1,100 sq. foot (almost one square foot per Kipling resident), three bedroom home (no mention of bathrooms; maybe it's a Brady house).

Meanwhile, we're paying over $1400 a month just for rent on a one bedroom/one bathroom apartment. Imagine how many red paper clips that could buy...

It's a widely held assumption that puppies and kittens are indeed the cutest things on the Earth. I can't argue with that. Given that, it stands to reason that anyone shooting puppies or kittens would have to be one of the most evil people in the world. The lowest of the low.

Does anybody remember Brian Heidik, the winner from Survivor: Thailand? Well, we can now recognize him under another title - one of the most evil people in the world. This motherfucker was shooting puppies with a bow and arrow. He said he thought they were coyotes bothering the pets on his property, but please. If he really thought they were coyotes, he wouldn't have run when the police came a-callin'.

What a dickless piece of shit. Seriously.

So, the U.S. was eliminated from World Cup play by Ghana, 2-1. The game-winning goal came on a penalty kick in stoppage time after the first half, which seems pretty dick. I didn't see the game or the alleged foul, so I can't say whether or not it was a bad call. But, in general, unless a foul is really bad, you don't call a penalty kick in stoppage time

Either way, though... bummer. Many people thought the U.S. would make it to the next round. I mean, shit, we're ranked #5 in the world by FIFA.

I guess the only consolation is that the U.S. isn't even the biggest bust in its own pool. The Czech Republic, which embarassed the U.S. team in game one, ranked #2 in the world by FIFA, was also eliminated today.

Congratulations to Ghana. This is the first time they've advanced past pool play. It looks like they're the biggest underdog to make it to the next round, so far. Next, I'll be cheering for Korea and Tunisia.